No doubt a major percentage of the decisions for love in our generation is based upon external beauty. By beauty we also mean handsomeness for the male counterparts too. A cursory look at the state of true love in our generation will reveal the fact that this beauty based approach to love isn’t working at all.This is not to say ugliness should be a desired virtue, If there is such a thing as ugly. It is my opinion that just about any human being can look good if they order their God given bodies appropriately,with neatness,dignity and excellence. Looking good isn’t only meant to be good business,looking good is good sense. Notice the word “order” in the preceding sentences. In my study I discovered that the root word for cosmetic in the Greek “kosmeo” speaks about the orderly arrangement of a thing. This bodily order is the pillar of all human attractiveness.

That said, it is crucial to challenge the idolatry of beauty that is so rampant in our society today. Too much emphasis is placed on looking good, and not enough emphasis is placed on being good. While looking good has some benefits,being good is the foundation upon which lasting and successful relationships are built. Your looking good is actually at the mercy of your being good. Looking good attracts, but it is being good that retains. This is what should be our priority. This generation has enthroned beauty and they need to be taught the limitations of beauty for their own good. These limitations are as follows;

  • BEAUTY PREDISPOSES TO PRIDE: As I travel around several cities fulfilling my assignment,I am often shocked to see the sheer volume of beautiful people who seem to be looking for a life partner,most of them advancing in years, with no partner to grace their lives. I often wonder why people so aesthetically endowed struggle in finding someone to settle down with. The first thing that struck me is that, it takes more than beauty to get married,and it will take more than beauty to keep your marriage. This second point is evidenced by the massive number of people who cheat on their very beautiful spouses. One of the many reasons for the singleness of the extreme beautiful is pride. Those that are beautifully endowed tend to feel self sufficient in their beauty. Some even boast that there is no one they are after, that they can’t get. To them I say, you seem to be able to get everyone except,someone who is willing to settle for you. This beauty predisposes many to spiritual arrogance in the sight of their creator,to their own peril. The reality is that the heights of beauty calls for the depth of humility, if it is going to enjoy relational validity. Beauty alone might make you attractive,but it is beauty plus humility that makes you irresistible. All who are physically endowed must never forget this.

  • BEAUTY PREDISPOSES TO LUST: . The more beautiful you are,the more external reasons people have to come around you. Most of them of course are coming purely to get a lustful taste of your desirable beauty. The problem is that once their lust is consummated,it often leads to a loss of interest and the ultimate death of the relationship. Beauty itself is an attractive system. An attractive system without a corresponding defensive system will lead to emotional disaster. This beauty defense system must be made up of a strong will,towering morality and stellar character. Because beauty predisposes to lust,the beautiful must be strong enough to say no to as many irresponsible people, until they find the best person. This should be done without any sense of guilt at all. I have met some for whom their beauty and handsomeness has become a curse, because they lacked the willpower to say no to the charlatans that approached them. I also saw these once beautiful people loose value as they opened up to the diverse lusts of all who came along. We must be cautious.
  • NATURAL BEAUTY IS AN ENDOWMENT NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT: I have seen several people strut like peacocks as if their anatomical beauty was a personal accomplishment. Nothing can be further from the truth. You were given your beauty by your creator,who unquestionably could have made you anything else. For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed received it,why do you boast as if you had not received it. This means that the sane and logical response to our inherent beauty, should be gratitude to the creator for making us as beautiful as we are.
  • BEAUTY DOES NOT IMPART CHARACTER: Beauty in many regards is like our talent. Nothing is as repugnant as talent devoid of character, likewise nothing is as disappointing as beauty without character. Some years ago I was at a wedding reception and was made to sit close to a young woman who was the epitome of gorgeous beauty. My speculative admiration of her was rudely interrupted by the manifestation of her attitude and character. She actually fought all the elderly people on her row over reception rice. It was quite a scene. For the umpteenth time, I was reminded that good looks are worthless without good manners,good attitudes and good character.
  • BEAUTY WON’T LAST FOREVER: No amount of cosmetics,plastic surgery and the likes, can stop the aging process. We all tend to attain the height of beauty somewhere between our mid 30s and our mid 40s, from then on our comeliness begins to diminish drastically. If the love for our partners is primarily anchored on their beauty,then our love for them will begin to diminish at about the same time. We must anchor our love on more renewable qualities. Only then will our love for each other be renewed day by day. One ancient writer put it so pointedly when he said ” even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. This inward man must be the focus of our affections.
  • BEAUTY DOESN’T IMPART INTELLIGENCE: There is such a thing as daft beauty. This exists when people prioritize their face over their minds, or when they prioritize their bodies over their heart. Some even prioritize gait over intellect. We all must in spite of our beauty, subscribe to a rigorous program of intellectual development. We must understand that a poor intellect can close the doors that our beauty opens, if proper care isn’t taken.
  • THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS MOST BEAUTIFUL: Such claims are simply fallacious . How can one be the most beautiful girl in a country, if you only surveyed 500 of them? Anyway, the reality is that there are as many variations of beauty, as there are people. This is why the pursuit of real love can’t be synonymous to the pursuit of perfect beauty. This is because when you think you’ve found your perfect beauty,someone else will show up that makes your prior definition of beauty irrelevant. This is why those who live their emotional lives in hot pursuit of beauty are simply chasing after the whirlwind. They will end up unstable,indecisive and confused. Contentment is the solution for those afflicted by this malaise.

Our possession, pursuit and definition of beauty must be balanced with reality,humility, morality, intelligence,contentment, good attitude,gratitude,and sound spirituality,for it to be irresistible. Those that incorporate these virtues into their equation of beauty will be rewarded by a rich and fulfilling love life. Do have a remarkable weekend.


Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

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  1. While our outward look ( physical beauty) diminishes as we age,our spiritual look (inner beauty) is expected to be transformed day by day.2 Corinthians 4:16. God help us!

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