One writer hit the nail on the head when he said, love is like table tennis, you can never win until you learn to serve well. The point is that TRUE LOVE SERVES. Authentic love for another comes with an overwhelming desire to serve them. Service is a valid proof of love.The greatest enemy of service in relationship is ego. This ego manifests itself as pride in most lovers today. Many have an overrated sense of self importance that hinder them from being of any practical value to the ones they claim to love and this is unfortunate. There are many husbands whose wives are banished to the kitchens of this world,because they traditionally believe that the greatest value of a woman lies in her cooking. Most of this proud men will not dare move a pin for their wives. Their only contribution in the home is to occasionally pay some bills and read newspapers all day long. Little wonder why their partners feel embittered and used in the relationship.

Many couples stick to antiquated models of differentiated roles for men and women in relationships,in spite of the fact that their practical realities require a role reversal. Some will say men provide,while women cook and take care of the family. What if the current realities of the couple do not permit for the implementation of such strategies? What if the lady earns more than the man? Does she keep away her resources from the family just to ensure that the traditional role of the male as provider will be upheld? What if the husband’s work schedule affords him some free time at home? Should he not care for his kids, if he can? Should he rather abandon his children because traditionally the wife should care for them? Roles and responsibilities are good but love may sometimes demand an overlapping of our roles and responsibilities for the sake of the greater good. Nothings is too big or small to do, for and with the one you love. Boundaries of responsibility are good, but true love respects no boundaries when it serves. There are some things that mutual service will do in your love life.

  • Service nurtures a healthy sense of importance in your lover – It affirms their worth and confirms the value you place on them as an individual. As far back as the 1920s, Dale Carnegie had identified the desire to feel important as one of the basic needs of a human being,through serving your lover this undeniable yearning in them can be fulfilled.

  • Service protects your relationship from overwork, stress and fatigue – If all the serving in a relationship is done by only one party, that person is most likely to be stressed out, and fatigue can greatly reduce the quality of responsive intimacy in a relationship. We all desire to be the primary object of need in our partner’s life. However if by refusing to serve them,we allow fatigue to set in,rest will replace us as the primary object of need in their lives. Many husbands complain that their wives aren’t responsive to their sexual advances at the end of the day. The reason is that most wives are fatigued due to the lack of supportive services from their husbands. Smart husbands are finding out that helping out with some of what we call the traditional female chores,can save both the time and energy of their wives. The saved time and energy can now be redirected towards nurturing the intimacy of the couple in amazing ways.
  • Serving your lover frees them from the sense of being used – This feeling that you are being used and not made by your lover produces resentment in our relationship like nothing else. However when you serve your lover,it produces a sense of equality and partnership in the relationship that further establishes its existence.

Many are afraid to serve their lovers because they feel it will compromise their leadership. Service my dear, doesn’t compromise leadership, it confirms it. Others say if they serve too much,they might be taken for granted by the one they serve,whoever takes your service for granted isn’t worthy of it.

It is high time those who are single, require a servant’s heart as a primary proof of love from those who claim to love them. Those of us married should be bold to establish our homes as mutual service centers. In reality love, is a lifelong calling to the holistic service of another. Roll up your sleeves and make a commitment to be a diligent servant of your lover today and watch your love life take a quantum leap.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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