Today I feel compelled to move on to the crucial subject of how to recognize the relationships in our lives that are worth breaking. Most relationships in life come with an expiry date. One way to be devastated in life is to hold on to a relationship long after its expiry date has been exceeded. It is amazing to me that most of the materials in our environment focus on “How to make love work”. Such materials are based upon the faulty assumption that every relationship we get into is meant to work for a lifetime. Nothing can be further from the truth.
Why should I be interested in making a relationship work if it is working against my happiness and fulfilment? If the truth is told, a relationship is only worth saving if it is working together for your good. Many have lost their lives and joy all because they wanted to hold on and make the unworkable work. It is therefore important to balance the making love work gospel with a corresponding how to break a relationship gospel, in case you ever find yourself in a “love worth breaking” situation.
Many people in life have lost themselves while trying to save worthless relationships. One writer admonishes us to come out from them and be separate. Another buttresses the point by insisting that there is a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing. Separation, my friend is not a curse. In fact, separation can be a blessing, if what you are muddled up in emotionally, is a curse.
I must confess that there were certain relationships on the verge of breaking up that I saved through the wisdom of counselling, only to discover that the marriages were catastrophic in consequence. In view of this fact I have become an advocate of “break ups” as much as I am an apostle of “make-ups”.
It is mature to acknowledge that just as oil and water cannot mix, some people in life cannot go together. To force it will be to mar it. It is therefore important for every individual to realize that though a counsellor may encourage you to stay with your tormenting partner, no counsellor will live with the partner for you. The ultimate counsel, therefore, is self counsel, based upon the reality and gravity of your personal experiences.
It is however important not to view my stand as being that of an advocate for divorce in marriage. The way I see it, there are only three justifiable alibis for divorce. One is serial and pathological adultery. Two, chronic and life-threatening physical abuse and three, extreme religious differences. Every other marital condition is fairly manageable with professional counselling, a willingness to change and adjust to each other by the husband and wife coupled with strategic, persistent prayers.
Over the next few days, I will be dealing with the subject of about 8 kinds of relationships that are worth breaking up before they break you. Why not recommend this blog to your friends and family by sharing or tweeting the love insight you are gaining from us. I also cherish your comments and emails.
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THE GREATEST IS LOVE!!!