A few days ago we started the journey into discovering the “SECRET INGREDIENTS OF A PERFECT LOVE ENVIRONMENT”. We established fun as the first factor or what some call pleasure. This came to us as we gleaned from the wisdom of the creator in locating the first couple in Eden (Pleasure). By so doing we were instructed that fun is an ideal location for love.The second ingredient of a perfect love environment is FOOD. Funny as this may sound, I realize that the creator wasted no time in growing trees and animals that were pleasant to the sight and good for food, for the man he loved as well as his lover. defines food as any nourishing substance that is eaten, drunk or otherwise taken into the body to sustain life, provide energy, promote growth etc. I believe that the genuineness of our love for another is displayed by our interest in sustaining their lives. And feeding them is one of the ways we do that.

There is an undeniable connection between our feeding and our feelings. In my peculiar culture, it is often said that a hungry man is an angry man. What they were trying to depict of course, is the realistic relationship between our consumption and our emotions. Most who have ever been hungry will confirm that we are most susceptible to negative emotions when hungry. These emotions could range from depression to irritability to even outbursts of anger, all of these just to mention but a few. It is therefore the responsibility of every enlightened lover to manage their partner’s moods by the provision of food. Our moods and our foods will forever be connected.

The second thing I have noticed is that food is a potent stimulant for communication. In my personal experience, I have realized that whenever coming in from a long business trip to my lovely wife, the first thing she wants is for me to tell her how everything went while I was away from her. The reality of the fact is that the last thing I want to talk about is how things went at work because it will put me back in the psychological consciousness of the work I had come home to escape from. As young couples, I know she was often frustrated by my edgy monosyllabic answers. ‘Fine, great, well’ were some of the murmured answers I gave to her. What however surprised me was how unsolicited information about the trip flowed out of me naturally once, two or three spoons of her lovely delicacy had entered my mouth. Much wiser today, the first thing she sets before me on arrival is a hot meal, and this has added tremendous value to our communication in marriage.

Food also has the ability to defuse stress and tension in our relationships. This I believe is why eating out is such a potent part of our civilization. The real value of the globally established fast food companies does not lie in the cheap meals they provide for humanity. Their real value is in the fact that they have become the love hubs of relaxation and communication in our generation. The details that go into cooking or selecting the exquisite locations for eating out can be one of the most powerful ways of conveying the value that we have for one another. The key word here is VALUE. When we are presented with sloppy cooking, dirty cutlery or an undesirable menu, the underlying reason why we loose our cool with such things is because we feel devalued. Food therefore becomes a means of expressing the value and importance that we have for each other in our relationships.

There is a relationship between influence and nourishment. Years ago, a Ghanian author Dag Heward Mills opened my eyes to the fact that the authority to lead comes from the ability to feed. Most ladies are confounded at the maternal influence and authority that mothers wield in their son’s lives. The answer lies in their long standing culinary commitment to their child. Another word for it is “kitchen authority”. While I do not agree that a mother should hold more authority in a husband’s life than the wife, a vital way for a lady to establish her authority in a man’s life is to “outcook” his mum. Certain foods and herbs have also been known to improve sexual performance in relationships. For example, ginseng and several other food supplements. It is therefore not a crime for a couple who have been granted the legitimate and spiritual authority for sexual expression to explore the use of such aphrodisiacs in a bid to honor their loved ones with the privilege of sexual satisfaction.

Food has a way of opening the heart of another to us because feeding them confirms our genuine interest in their overall well being. It is time our love lives take on a culinary dimension. It is time to intentionally let nourishment play its strategic role in the lives of our partners.

We must never take for granted the fact, that what we nourish, we will cherish and what is nourished will in turn cherish us.If music is the food of love as some say, food also can be the engine of love in our lives. He brought me to the banqueting house and his banner over me was love.



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