Whose Voice is in Your Lover’s Garden?

I have always been of the opinion that to understand success, you have to be a student of failure. This has been my impetus for the study of the first break-up ever. Yesterday we found out that when trust is lost in love, all is lost. Today, we want to examine the influences that external voices can have on the success or failure of our love lives. If you observe the first break-up ever between God and Adam, you will see the intrusive role played by the voice and presence of a deceptive third party. This third-party syndrome has been the cause of the break up of many marriages, relationships and even partnerships. This is why you should be sensitive enough to clarify the several influential voices in the life of your partner. These voices can make or mar your relationship if you are not careful.

Are we saying that your relationship should be closed from all external input? The answer is NO. It all depends on what those voices represent in the life of your partner. You must however isolate your relationship from any voice that can have a destructive impact on your love life. We live in a voice filled generation. There are a million and one voices trying to tell you how to run your life. You must have a process for filtering the substance from the junk. Here are some guidelines you can use to do so.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF FAILURE: There are so many failures out there trying to teach successful people how to be more successful. This is at best a colossal joke. I am not trying to say we must despise failures, but I am saying for your failure to be the basis of instruction for others, the failure must be past and not present. Your voice might give you the right to speak but only your results give you the right to be heard. One day a lady was bragging about what her mummy taught her about men, and I simply asked her this question: Is your daddy still married to your mummy? She said no. I said am sorry ma, your mummy has no authority to tell you how to keep a man. Period! Satan had failed in his relationship with God and here he was trying to teach them how to succeed in what he was failing in.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF INEXPERIENCE: The one advising them on their human experience had no human experience whatsoever. How can you effectively advise me on how to take off my shoes, if you have never used shoes before. The question we must be asking ourselves is this, has this adviser lived out his advice in their own life? If not, what is offered are simply opinions.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF JEALOUSY: Most voices you might hear are full of disguised jealousy. There is the friend who secretly covets what you have and is hell-bent on convincing you of its worthlessness so that they can get what you have, be sensitive.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF BITTERNESS: There is the voice that stems from past hurts, pains and disappointments. These voices are signified by the fact that their perspective of life and love has been coloured by their past experiences so that they view everyone from a pain bias. They start off with innuendos that all men are liars, all ladies are bitches and so forth. Their weakness lies in their generalizations and the tendency to fit everyone in their future into moulds of people they have met in their past. They are some of the most dangerous people to hang around.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF FRUSTRATION: These are people who at one point in the past attempted to make things work but failed. On the basis of their failure, they have now arrived at the devastating conclusion that if they couldn’t do it nobody else can. Such people will stop at nothing to convince you about the impossibility of what you are daring. They too must be avoided like a plague.

• BEWARE OF THE VOICE OF DECEPTION: The longer I have lived the more I have realized that most advice offered has an underlying agenda. I will not act on any advice if I am not at peace with the underlying agenda. For example, most people watch the news and echo the news without realizing that each news network has individual agenda. Each network has what it wants the viewers to think and will present facts, figures and stories to consolidate their respective agendas.

One way not to be a mindless echo is to discover what is left unsaid amongst what is being said. Be certain about the fact that not every voice you hear has your best interest at heart. You must separate the wheat from the chaff, and have the courage to burn the chaff. Protect your love life from the voice of the destructive third parties in your love garden and the chances of your success together will be greatly enhanced. I believe in you.

THE GREATEST IS LOVE!!!