heartbreak009Heartbreaks are not a mystery. In fact, they are very predictable in nature. This is one of the major problems plaguing the love scene today. What however amazes me is how surprised people seem to be, when the inevitable happens to them emotionally. I am fully persuaded that the outcomes of our relationships can be predicted from the scratch. There is a way that you can set up yourself for heartbreak from the very start of a relationship. I intend to demistify the heartbreak process as much as possible in this writing, so that the choice will be left to you,whether to be heartbroken or not.The underlying principle here is that the ultimate state of your heart will depend on the quality of the person you choose to give it to. There is a kind of person you give your heart to,that automatically guarantees its destruction. The key then, is not to throw your heart around easily,until you have had the opportunity to confirm the nature and quality of the person you are giving it to. One thing is certain,a person’s treatment of your heart and love depends largely on their personal nature. Let us consider some undebatable heartbreak scenarios today. Hopefully we might be able to answer the question of why you are heartbroken.

  • Scenario 1: GIVING YOUR HEART TO SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW. Knowledge is an undeniable element in love. You can only love a person as much as you know them. Conversely a person’s love for you cannot exceed the boundaries of their knowledge of you. What is common to most heartbroken people is the missing element of knowledge. Anyone who claims to love you, without deeply knowing who you are, is simply flattering you. Some people throw the word love around carelessly simply to have their way emotionally, but you must be matured enough to question their knowledge of you,as well as your knowledge of them before starting a relationship. Failure to do so will certainly lead to a heartbreak.

  • Scenerio 2: GIVING YOUR HEART TO SOMEONE YOU THOUGHT YOU’VE ALWAYS KNOWN. Previous knowledge is not always present knowledge. It isn’t uncommon to hook up with an old classmate,an old neighbor or even a childhood sweetheart. In the euphoria of reminiscing about the good old days, their passion for one another can be rekindled. The danger however is that people do change, and when we make love commitments to such individuals,we are doing so over who they were, or who we think they are and not who they currently are. The reality is that the volume of extensive time spent apart, represents missing critical information, that must be factored into your current love decision. This is why we must exchange our antiquated feelings for educated feelings, if we won’t end up heartbroken. We must demand that such oldies fill in the blank spaces of where they were, what and how they were doing and with whom they were doing it, during their time away.
  • Scenario 3: GIVING YOUR HEART TO THE BROKEN HEARTED. Just as broken vessels leak, broken hearts leak. When a heart bleeds, no matter the amount of love, you pour in, you are least likely to get any significant amount of love out of it. This is because the emotional injuries of the past tend to affect the emotional possibilities of the future. In some cases they might not just be ready to love so quickly, immediately after their heartbreak. Even if they attempt to, it will boil down to first aid love(see my article on the subject). This happens when a hurt person uses their love for you as a medication for their past pains. The reality is that bandages and all other first aid tools are never used forever. What you would notice is that once they can get back on their feet,their feelings change towards you and that’s where the trouble begins. What is advisable for every injured lover is to take personal time off the field of love to heal. How long should this healing process take? I will say as long as it takes not to feel the pain any more. The new wine of love must be put in new love wine skins.
  • Scenario 4: GIVING YOUR HEART TO THE BRAZEN HEARTED. Believe me when I tell you there are people out there with a heart of stone. In fact the best way I can categorize them is that they are heartless. Their consciences are seared,their feelings are numbed,their emotional faculties has atrophied. They live in a perpetual state of emotional hardness. As a matter of fact, most of them get their fun out of seeing you hurt. The worst thing that can happen to you is to be genuinely in love with people in this state. Loving them is as pointless as sowing your precious seeds on hard concrete. Not only will you not get any harvest from your emotional seeds sown,you will also end up being emotionally shattered. If you are in such a situation I advice you to quit,for the sake of your sanity and happiness.
  • Scenario 5: GIVING YOUR HEART TO SOMEONE WHO HASN’T GIVEN THEIR HEART TO THEIR CREATOR. I am fully convinced that nothing can transform a person’s heart like a living,vibrant relationship with the creator. He alone seems to be most capable of transforming hearts of stone,into sensitive hearts of flesh. This is why your greatest desire should be to settle for someone whose heart has been properly processed by the creator. I am not talking dogmatic religion here,that hardens hearts also. I am talking about a living,breathing,talking,walking relationship with the creator that softens our complex human tendencies. Everyone in a relationship with these uncommon breed of lovers,can confirm the peace and rest of mind that comes with it.

To be heartbreak free, one must deliberately avoid being in any of the scenarios above. Those who consciously break these principles will have themselves to blame. The choice is yours.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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