Is this global search for love meant to be as difficult as it seems? Yesterday we established the fact that many are frustrated in their search for love because of the unrealistic definitions they have given to love. We further opined that many miss love because they seek for it at the wrong times and seasons of their life. Today we want to go a little bit deeper in unraveling the key reasons why love seems so hard to find in our generation.The third reason why real love is elusive for many is because many look for love in all the wrong PLACES. It will interest you to realize how many people fantasize about finding true love at bars,parties and several rowdy social functions. The fact that people gather at such social functions doesn’t necessarily guarantee that the relationships generated from there will be long lasting.

In fact it is sometimes difficult to separate how a relationship is going from how and where the couples met. Certain atmospheres are better suited for the discovery of long lasting love than others. For instance you stand a better chance at finding responsible love with someone you met at a religious function than someone you met at a prostitute’s party. This is not to say that all who frequent religious institutions embody integrity,but the above suggestion is a statement of relative probability.

The key issue in our choice of places for love is responsibility and integrity. Places frequented by people of integrity and responsibility offer a higher probability for the discovery of serious minded love than places frequented by charlatans. This means that every lover must get both their aspirations for love and their places for love into strategic alignment. In other words, do the kind of people you want in love frequent the kind of places you regularly go to? If not, you would have to reposition.

It is intriguing for me to discover that most biblical marital relationships were enacted around wells. Why wells? Wells in medieval times were places of industry,responsibility,dynamism,commitment and subsistence. The people who were in the habit of frequenting wells therefore, were people who had also inculcated these values into their personal lives. The sages of old therefore understood the fact that a place is more than a place. The places we frequent are a reflection of our values,world view and overall character. So in their search for love,they chose to position themselves in the places where the type of people they desired were most likely to show up. I dare say there is someone reading me right now who is heart broken,but the origin of your heartbreak lay in the kind of place that you chose to pick your partner from. Places are powerful.

Not only do we fail to find love because we tend to seek for it in the wrong places,many also fail to find love because they look for love in the wrong FACES. By faces here, I am talking about the focus on external beauty or handsomeness as a major factor in deciding to love another. Many lovers are slaves of beauty.

The underlying mind set of such individuals is that, if it looks good it must be good. To them I would opine that serpents are almost incomparable in their exquisite beauty,yet within them resides one of the deadliest venoms known to man. It is not how we look on the outside that matters in love but how we are on the inside.

Beyond the fact that beauty is deceitful and vain, nothing is as temporary as the way we look. Even all the beauty enhancement technologies in the world can never provide the natural comfort of how we were made by the creator. Several years ago I postulated that loving by insight is superior to loving by sight. Those who are led into love relationships primarily by looks will end up devastated.

The container of a thing can be appealing while the content can be appalling. Discernment is key when we are dealing with beauty of any sort,in other to avoid eternal errors in love. Of course we aren’t downplaying the role of good looks in love,but we are advocating that your looks not be the best thing about you. At least your inner beauty as well as the inner beauty of the one you choose should be a corresponding validation of their external beauty.

Those who ignore this cardinal principle in love,will have themselves to blame. Beauty can be affirmed in an instant,but character has to be confirmed over a season. Refuse to be a slave of beauty today,rather choose to be a connoisseur of character and you will never have to regret the love decisions you make in life. Once again we are out of words and time. Make it a date with me tomorrow,don’t forget to recommend this blog to your friends. I appreciate you.

Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

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5 thoughts on “IS TRUE LOVE REALLY HARD TO FIND? (2)

  1. Mind-blowing! There is a connection between the PLACE where we find our love and the TREND our relationship follows. The Rev’d also said,”Nothing is as temporary as the way we look. As I read this,I cast my mind at the way I looked many years ago.Comparing that with my present look,the difference is crystal clear. “While we look not at the things which are seen,but at the things which are not seen;for the things which are seen are temporal,but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18. Great Grace Sir!

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