Fundamental RightsMany lovers today tolerate a lot of junk in their relationships because they are ignorant of what their fundamental lover’s rights are. If you are ignorant of your rights as a lover, you are most likely to be cheated and abused. Worse still, a smart user can make you feel that your rights are a privilege. When a people are ignorant of their rights, injustices abound. Oh my heart breaks for the several millions who are being used and abused today in the name of love. Hopefully reading this today will empower you to stand and fight for what rightly belongs to you in love.It is important as a lover not to yield your intrinsic rights to another in the name of love. To yield to your lover, things your creator hasn’t demanded from you, is to exalt your lover above your creator. Those who end up making an idol out of their partners in the name of love are bound to pay with a life of disappointment and disillusionment. I am hoping you will never have to be in such a position in life. What are these FUNDAMENTAL LOVER’S RIGHTS?

  1. EVERY LOVER HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE: There is a brand of autocratic love that seeks to make all the choices their lover needs to make, for them, and this is wrong. Once I learnt of a guy who proposed to a lady with this exact words “God told me to tell you that you are my wife and if you don’t say yes within the next 7days, YOU ARE DEAD!!!” This spiritual lunatic of a lover didn’t even give the lady an option in the matter at all. What surprised me the more was how seriously the lady took the threat, I’m sorry proposal, and started running from pillar to post. Love might do a lot of things but one thing love doesn’t do is to impose itself on another. Love simply suggests itself and leaves the other to make their decision to respond. Love is not manipulative, oppressive or compulsive. True love gives her object the liberty to think, decide and respond. If the brand of love you are experiencing is contrary to these, please think again.

  2. EVERY LOVER HAS THE RIGHT TO HAVE RESPONSIBLE ASSOCIATIONS: Jealousy is a key factor in genuine love but insecure lovers have the tendency to take jealousy too far. Believe it or not there are relationships that forbid their partners to have friends, work secular jobs,receive calls, join social networks,or even develop and exercise their potential publicly. There are even men who go to the extremes of legislating ugliness in their wives,just to prevent other men from noticing their beauty. All of these tendencies are wrong. Any brand of love that robs you of your potential because of insecurity can not be right. In most cases such extreme manifestations of over protectiveness is often a symptom of lack of trust, both for themselves,and for their partners. All will agree that the most protective parents were the most promiscuous in their youth. Their over protectiveness was simply a function of projecting their past weaknesses on their present children. This also holds true sometimes of lovers. A cheating partner will never cease to project the suspicion of cheating on their non cheating partner. To the pure all things are pure,but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their minds and consciences are defiled. Realize that it will take more than your love alone for your partner to make it in life, and be secure to permit them to have productive associations, provided that you chose a trustworthy lover.
  3. EVERY LOVER HAS THE RIGHT TO CARE: This is a no-brainier. When you love a car don’t you care for it? When you love a piece of jewelry don’t you care for it? When you love a fabric don’t you care for it? Why should the love of a human being be any different? Some will insist that if you show too much love for your partner,their head will start swelling and they will take you for granted. Well anyone who takes your legitimate display of care for granted, has just showed you they are undeserving of your love. Simply quit them and look for someone more deserving of your love. True, some people have been love starved all their lives, and a red flag goes up in their minds anytime they are showered with love. What needs to be done in this case is to first and foremost convince such a person of their value and love worthiness. That will gradually increase their capacity to receive love. Every human being was created in the creator’s image and is worthy of celebration,appreciation and adoration. You must work on your self esteem to receive such dimensions of care as well as your ability to dispense it. Conversely you must shut out any, so called lover, that doesn’t accentuate your God given value, through care. Extreme exposure to such individuals can rob you of your self image, self worth and your self esteem.
  4. EVERY LOVER HAS THE RIGHT TO BE FORGIVEN: None of us are perfect yet,so why shouldn’t forgiveness come naturally to all of us? In my book”How to be romantic” I said that since all of us will need to be forgiven at some point in our lives,we must be motivated to forgive others all of the time. Besides one wonders what state our relationship with the creator will be in today,if the clause of forgiveness wasn’t a constant in our spiritual relationships. The calling to relate my dear,is a calling to forgive. There is also the brand of forgiveness that requires a lifetime of begging for it to be received. This is hardly the proof of love at all. The mention of a sincere apology should be sufficient if love and genuine repentance is in place. Real love doesn’t have to make your partner suffer or pay for what they’ve done wrong. Forgiveness, is your lover’s right. I will revisit the art of forgiveness at a latter date.

Every genuine lover will not seek to rob their partners of their rights and privileges. Rather they are meant to be a genuine force of value in the lives of their loved ones. May this brand of lovers flourish in our generation anew.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

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