Is love meant to last forever? Theoretically YES, but practically NO. Many have held on to false claims of love for too long and they have gotten themselves mortally wounded in the process. There is a time when it makes more sense to leave than to love. How does one know when you have arrived at that point? When should love quit in spite of the affections? We want to answer these questions as practically as possible today.
WHEN LOVING HAS BECOME A THREAT TO YOUR LIVING
No amount of love is worth losing your precious life over. Too many hold on to physically abusive relationships and marriages because they want to fulfil moral or spiritual obligations. That is terrible. Lives have been lost because many were too in love to quit. Such extreme forms of loyalty to abusers is a sign of loving someone more than yourself, as well as self-hatred. Ladies are often the victims of such extreme forms of loving. It is unwise to stay on if this is your experience. Whatever you tolerate will proliferate, so you must exercise your decisive faculties for departure. The irony is that if you keep on loving a violent and murderous lover, you are bound to leave them someday, either dead or alive. Your only way to leave alive is by choosing now to do so.
WHEN YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT LOVED ANYMORE
The worst thing that can happen to you, is to have to hang on to someone who obviously doesn’t love you one bit. Many of us labour under the illusion that if we love a person hard enough, they are bound to love us back, this, in reality, isn’t always so. You must be objective in your evaluation of your love life and not be sentimental about it. For love to make sense it has got to be mutual, if that mutual element is absent, it is best you leave. If you are forcing it, it is probably not there.
WHEN ANOTHER HAS BEEN CHOSEN OVER YOU
You will be amazed at the number of people who tolerate not being the singular focus of their partner. Some call such bizarre arrangement an open relationship. Such open relationships are possible because lust has overthrown authentic love in those relationships. I have always believed that rational love demands exclusive attention and commitment. Those of us with strong self-esteem will rather walk out than share our lovers. Once you are no longer the preferred choice of love it is time to move on.
WHEN LOVING IS COSTING YOU YOUR JOY, PEACE AND HAPPINESS
Isn’t it better to leave and be happy than to stay and be sad? Fulfilment is a major component of love. The absence of joy, peace and happiness speaks of a vital lack of fulfilment. Life is too short to be lived unfulfilled and the ones we choose to stay with should contribute immensely to our personal fulfilment. Without these three factors, there is no point in love. We must face the facts and take the leap.
WHEN LOVING IS COSTING YOU YOUR UNIQUE IDENTITY
There is a sacrificial responsibility in love but that sacrificial notion must not be taken too far. There is an aspect of your individual uniqueness that must not be sacrificed in the name of love. Your dignity as a human being depends on the preservation of your distinct identity. If therefore a lover demands that you give up yourself in other to please them, the answer should be a unique NO. Someday soon I will distinguish between the things to sacrifice and the things not to be sacrificed in the name of love. One of the things you shouldn’t sacrifice is your peculiar identity and human dignity. Doing so would mean you have lost yourself.
Once these five conditions are in place in your love equation, it is time to let go and seek for love opportunities elsewhere. With a staggering world population of 7billion people, surely there is at least one person out there who suits you perfectly. You are going to have to take your chances.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE