In love, as well as in life positioning is everything. Unfortunately few know how to position themselves appropriately for dynamic love encounters. Some lovers are doomed by the position they choose to adopt regarding their love lives. There are several positions a lover can assume regarding their love lives, but the worst of them is a position of DESPERATION. Desperation is the downfall of any meaningful negotiation. First, we consider some signs of desperation and a few things that your desperation tells a prospective lover.
Some vital signs that reveal that you have been bitten by the demon of desperation are the use of unconventional methods to communicate your relational availability. An example is asking people you have never met in person, out online. One just promised me that she would be an obedient lover to me via my Facebook inbox. How crazy. Another sign is agreeing to the terms of a relationship 100% without presenting any terms of your own. Yet another sign of desperation is an extreme pursuit and over availability for the one you have targeted for love. No matter the desperate tactic one chooses to apply in love, one thing is certain, such extreme strategies will work against you in future, particularly when you try to assert your self-respect sometime in future. Here are a few things that your desperation tells me.
- YOUR DESPERATION TELLS ME THAT YOU AREN’T SURE OF YOUR WORTH AND VALUE. Valuable entities are not given to extreme solicitation for attention. Their conviction about their inherent value enables a strong sense of confidence to permeate their every move. If you have to beg for love, something is wrong with you. If you are truly convinced of the worth and value you will bring to your prospective lover, you won’t be intimidated. In fact, anyone who doesn’t choose you, you feel pity for, because you have a clear cut image of what they would have missed.
- YOUR DESPERATION TELLS ME YOU’VE RUN OUT OF CREDIBLE LOVE ALTERNATIVES. Scarcity naturally has a way of hiking the price of things. This means that when you are desperate to have a person, and they know it, they naturally jack up the price you have to pay to have them. Unfortunately, the desperate lover may have to pay it, to get into the relationship. The problem with too high a price is sustainability. Maturity is the ability to distinguish attainability from sustainability. Not everything that is attainable is sustainable. It is at this point of the lack of sustainability, that the relationship begins to decline.
- YOUR DESPERATION TELLS ME THAT YOUR LOVE IS BORN OUT OF PRESSURE AND NOT PURPOSE. Pressure is temporary but purpose is permanent. Anything born out of pressure will live, so long as the pressure is around. However once the pressure is over, so does the love and affection. On the contrary, building on purpose is what guarantees longevity and continuity.
- DESPERATION IN LOVE MAKES YOU VULNERABLE TO EXPLOITATION. The moment people sense desperation in you, they will exploit it to their own personal advantage. In fact, this is why we must not wear our love needs as a badge on our foreheads. A smart prospective lover will simply promise or pretend to get those needs met and get you trapped in things you never bargained for.
It is time to get out of every desperate position and communicate sufficiency and adequacy in our love lives. Those who do this will stand a better chance of attracting worthy people into their lives. Do have a remarkable weekend.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE