The ABC Of Getting Your Heart Broken

Heartbreaks are not mysteries. I dare say heartbreaks are very predictable. In most cases when people end up heartbroken it is usually a function of ignorance. By this I mean those who get heartbroken are actually ignoring certain important factors of relationship success. They may be ignoring principles, practices or personalities. Something you are ignoring is responsible for the pain you are experiencing. The following are the basics of getting one’s heart broken. Those who avoid these errors will be rewarded with emotional stability beyond their imagination.


Many leave the outcome of their relationship to chance. They choose whoever comes along by chance. They hope that by chance the relationship will arrive at the destination they haven’t taken the time to design. They seldom take time to be sure of the choice of their love. Their decision for love is based upon probability, not certainty. They seldom take time to be sure about who they are with or who they should be with. When confronted, these emotional gamblers tout the ancient maxim Que sera sera, what will be will be. Such myopic approaches to love, that glorify chance, over informed choices are bound to end up in heartbreak, if not in total life break. We must be intentional about our love lives and must know who we are loving, what we are loving, as well as why we are loving if we want to avoid heartbreaks totally.


No one stands a greater chance of being hurt in love, like the one who believes everything that they have been told by a person they just met. There is no greater pain in love than the pain of discovering the fact that all you have believed, is a huge lie. All love founded upon lies is bound to hurt in the end. You definitely can not stop people from lying to you, but you can stop yourself from believing everything that people tell you. I have a motto of confirming before believing anything. The only place I put believing before confirming is my relationship with the creator. Since none of us is on the same spiritual level as the creator, it is healthy to tolerate a bit of doubt, investigation and confirmation from those we claim to love. Most of all if we have nothing to hide, no amount of exposure and investigation should bother us.


The character and integrity of a person are what to base our commitment in love upon. Committing to a person that lacks character in love is like building an expensive castle on sandy foundations. It is all bound to come crashing down under the slightest pressure. Character is public and private consistency. It is being the same person you are in private, as the person you are in public. It is living out the truth and not a lie. It is honouring your commitments and being loyal to your decision and choices in life and love. To exhibit sound character, a person is most likely to have committed themselves to higher spiritual values. Without this character in place, trusting a person is a waste of time in love. They are bound to hurt you.

To avoid being heartbroken, you must first base your assumptions in love on verifiable reality. You must endeavour to confirm things before you believe them and you must insist on committing to persons of sound character. These are vital non-negotiable for those who will avoid being heartbroken altogether.


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