Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
Yesterday we established the fact that there must be a process to love. Those who skip steps in love are bound to have love accidents. We opined that the first four steps are awareness, acquaintance, attraction and assurance. Today we want to itemize the remaining steps.
In this phase proposals as well as promises are exchanged by the couple and there is a mutual agreement to become partners. It is wise to always have a formal beginning for the relationship so that one doesn’t fall victim of the “one thing led to another” circumstantial relationship model. The reason is that, what is not defined can be denied. Secondarily, what doesn’t have a start cannot have an end, including relationships? The Hollywood model of assuming a relationship because one had a date and a kiss is drastically counterproductive. The pathological divorce rate among most entertainers attests to that fact. Begin formally with a clarification of the conditions for the existence of the relationship as well as its dissolution. So that nothing is left to assumptions.
In most cases we start off by loving the idea of our lovers, it is only as the relationship progresses that we actually realize how different we are. This is especially so if the friendship wasn’t extensive in nature. This phase is often marked with conflicts, disagreements and disappointments. Those who persevere beyond this phase in love are the ones who really begin a serious relationship. The conflicts of this adjustment phase always give birth to a deep understanding of each other that can seldom be gotten any other way. Those who fail to adjust or adapt end the love story right there.
One of the impacts that the fire of conflict has on our love lives is that if handled correctly, it can melt the couple together and produce a stronger union than what existed before then. My partner and I had one of those tests shortly before we got married. What actually should have torn us apart actually worked for our good. As we chose to stick to each other through the pain of that season, we found profound respect and love for one another that we lacked originally and the ensuing emotional adhesion has served our marriage tremendously. Everything worthy will be tried by fire, if the love is real, the fire will only purify and strengthen it, but if the love is false the fire will destroy it.
Finally, you must give your self to the continuous maintenance of the relationship by sustaining your initial emotional tempo. At this phase, you must intentionally resist the tendency to take your partner for granted. You must keep affirming each other’s value by continuing to love each other. In this phase, you must also be intentional about weeding out all the love destroyers that you are noticing. Most of all you realize that no relationship can maintain itself, it has to be maintained by those in it.
Those who subscribe to the above processes are bound to be the five-star lovers of tomorrow. I am sincerely hoping you will be one of them. Do have an awesome day.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE