Humans are addicted to simplicity and averse to complexity. Few people realize that the reason why their attempts at making love work, is always met with failure, is because of their personal complexity. I have met people who have been so hard to figure out, that only God could love them effectively. The moment loving you proves too much of a challenge to your prospects, they would gladly go for other options. The key to making it easy for someone to love you is to understand yourself and to communicate that understanding to your partner clearly.
If you can’t understand yourself, there isn’t a likely chance that anyone will understand you. If they can’t understand you, they will have a hard time loving you, and at some point, they might have to give up on you. Wanting somebody so badly isn’t going to make them stay, you’ve got to find a way to make it easy for them to stay. That way is by having a crystal clear understanding of who and what you are.
You must know and understand what you desire
How can a lover go about pleasing you, if you have no idea of what you desire from the relationship? You will be a mystery to your lover if your desires aren’t clearly understood. This clarification and communication of each other’s desires should be the first prerequisite to the launching of any relationship. If your lover is ignorant of your deepest desires, they will be left to wandering assumptions that will fail to strike a chord in your heart. The point is that it is difficult to please anyone who doesn’t even know what pleases them.
You must know and understand what you won’t accept
Before a person can love you effectively, you must be clear about what you aren’t willing to tolerate in a relationship and communicate that up front. Unfortunately, many do not even have an idea of their partner’s turn-offs, until their lover penalizes them for violating. That is cruel. It is like setting examinations for someone in an area where they weren’t taught beforehand. Understanding what you won’t take will enable your lover know what they ought to avoid, to make the relationship work.
You must understand your history and how it influences your choices
Everyone is either running from something or running toward something. Those who however get connected to us as we run must be given a clear cut understanding of our evolution. Only then will they understand why we are running the way we do. It takes an understanding of our history for people to understand why we are the way we are, and why we do the things we do. This means we must search deep within our heart to uncover our hidden motives, after which we can now communicate them to those seeking to love us.
You must understand your hidden fears and insecurities
Most of our personal reactions in a relationship stem out from our deep-rooted fears and insecurities. Those reactions however seem irrational to the ones that seek to love us, because they are largely unaware of such fears and insecurities. In other to win your partner’s empathy, those hidden insecurities should be shared with them or else they may never understand.
You must understand your direction
The question, ‘where am I going?’, must first be answered before: who is to go with me? Unfortunately many make the mistake of choosing who to go with, before choosing where they are going. The outcome of this is that, when they eventually determine where they are going, the one they are going with, might not be willing to go with them. Direction must always come before affection. If you find affection before finding direction, arrival at that direction might eventually cost you your affection.
The summary of this matter is that self-understanding is a prerequisite to your partner’s understanding of you, and this dual understanding is the foundation for all outstanding loves. To make it easy for your lover to love you, understand yourself so well and communicate that understanding so clearly, that it would be almost impossible for your lover to misunderstand you. Doing so will give your relationship the much-celebrated stability it deserves.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE