Once Upon a Virgin

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Virgins might be scarce in our society but I fully believe they exist. Nothing sickens me like sexually promiscuous individuals who still insist on marrying virgins. I once read of a male actor who obviously wasn’t a virgin, insisting that the reason why he wasn’t married was that he was looking for a virgin to marry. I wanted to tell him to his face that, at the rate of his sexual promiscuity, no virgins will be left by the time he was ready to marry. It is practically unfair to desire what you are not in a partner.

The second thing that unnerves me is the DISCRIMINATION of non-virgins by virgins and vice versa. While it is unjust to covet something you are not in a partner, it is pride to look down on someone because they aren’t living up to your personal standards. Not all existing virgins are a product of personal determination. Some are simply a function of the lack of sexual opportunities. Those that are virgins must carry themselves with a spirit of humility because pride always goes before a fall and it only takes a moment to fall.

The third position that needs to be addressed is that of the INVALIDATION of virginity by non-virgins. Some even go to the extremes of making fun of virgins and accusing them of not being trendy enough. This is mentally awkward. Calling right wrong and calling wrong right is an element of insanity. Our world will be a better place if many people saved sex until marriage. That is a fact that we must never undermine in spite of our sexual status. Those of us that aren’t virgins must not encourage those that are to lose their virginity because we know first hand about the complications that illegitimate sex brought into our love equation. Rather, we should celebrate them, acknowledge their virtue and encourage them to save the best for last.

The other thing is applying DOUBLE STANDARDS of sexuality to males and females. The males who lose their virginity are considered to be studs, while the females that do so are said to be bitches. Such double standards smack of mental anaemia. So the ladies are to keep themselves while the men explore themselves? Aren’t the ladies such men sleep with, not ladies themselves? Aren’t the consequences of sexual promiscuity same for the male as they are for the female? I believe that what goes for the man should also go for the woman. A uniform code of virtue and morality should apply to both of them.

Those that are virgins must carry their heads high and aspire to lose it in a most worthy way and to the most worthy person (in marriage). Those that are not shouldn’t look down on themselves or live in regrets. What is past is past. Rather they should look beyond their past mistakes and embrace sexual responsibility in the now. I will subsequently deal with the value of virginity in our relationship and its role in the practical discovery of love.


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