Once Upon a Love

There is no greater tragedy than the tragedy of aborted love – a love that once was but is no more. True, not every love is worth saving but nothing is as painful as a genuine love that has failed to achieve it’s life long potential. No where is this malaise rampant than in the institution of marriage. Many married individuals who once were head over heels for each other now barely live together as total strangers to one another. In some extreme cases, they have even become arch enemies of each other. The love that could have lasted for their entire destinies only now is a relic of ancient history, how sad.

The core question is this can long lost love be recovered again? Is love renewable in nature? If yes, what deliberate steps can be taken to recover love from the abyss of past frustrations and disappointments? These are some questions that we seek to answer today. Notice that we do not intend to answer why love might have been lost. The why of this situation could take one full year to discuss. What we want to deal with is how lost love can be recovered. I am also happy to tell you that the answer to the aforementioned questions is a resounding YES! Lost love can be recovered. Here is how.


One of the reasons why we lose track of our love for each other is that we forget how much we once meant to each other. We forget, either because of conflicts and life’s pressures, the fact that we were once crazy about each other. We forget that this was once the person we couldn’t do without. What we once felt is often buried beneath the heap and rubble of day to day challenges. The first step to recovery is remembrance. This is also why I believe that every lover should take advantage of technology for the preservation of the good memories shared by each other. This could be in the form of videos, audios, pictures or written texts. The direct preservations of these memories are the indirect preservation of the feelings that accompanied the particular events. When those preserved memories have rehearsed the feelings that accompanied them can be relived and reactivated for the recovery of your love life. But in the absence of such memories, a huge portion of the love capital between two couples can be lost.

This perhaps is why every lover should be cautious about the actions we are creating today. Our actions today become our memories tomorrow. Better still our actions today becomes our partner’s memory tomorrow. So by our actions today we are actually creating a memory for our partners. Therefore if you don’t want what you are doing to your partner today, to be remembered tomorrow you had better stop it. Once memories have been created, they can never be deleted. So in love memory counts. It can either work for your good or against you. Memories are indeed leverage for the recovery of love.

A note of warning here on managing love memories. There is a difference between dying love and dead love. In most cases, a dying love can be recovered but it will take the spiritual intervention of the creator to resurrect a dead love. Rehearsing the good times of a dead love often reopens the wounds and the hurts of the past, to the detriment of the health and vitality of the grieving lover. We must be courageous enough to acknowledge the facts of our love life. If the love is totally dead and your ex has moved on to another lover, the best honour you can give to the dead is a befitting burial and along with the burial, you must bury all the artefacts and the memorabilia of the dead love. Don’t cry over spilt milk and refuse to hold on to the dead.

Have you noticed that should you choose to hang around the dead for too long, your health and life can be contaminated? This is exactly why your prospects of future love can be gravely corrupted if you insist on holding on to a dead love. Let go of the dead and let the dead bury their dead. Investing in a dead love or lover is a pointless waste of your emotional resources.

All of this notwithstanding, if there is a sign of life in your dying love, deliberately choose to nurse it to health by constructively engaging your good memories of each other. Remind each other of great times you have shared. Give love a chance and always remember that the first step to the recovery of love is remembrance. We shall unveil the pertinent next steps tomorrow.


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One thought on “Once Upon a Love

  1. Let the dead bury their dead!
    The best honor you can give to the dead is a befitting burial and along with the burial,you must bury all the artifacts and the memorabilia of the dead love.
    whoa! 🙂

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