The demise of loyalty is the tragedy of love. Months ago, I postulated that there is a fundamental law of exclusivity to love, which states that you cannot genuinely be in love with more than one person. When we claim to be in love with more than one person, one is genuinely loved, while the other or others are objects of our lusts. One is genuinely loved, while the others are being emotionally exploited. One is loved, while the others are hated. If you find yourself in such a multiple love scenario, you must be objective about which one of the above you are and act decisively. Today we want to reveal some crucial warning signs that you are being cheated on by another.
EXTREME INSISTENCE ON PRIVACY
When a lover becomes overly concerned about their privacy, there is fire on the mountain. I know of partners whose phones and computers are secured by hyper mysterious passwords, to keep their lover from accessing their online behaviours. Such passwords won’t be needed if there aren’t hyper mysterious skeletons in their cupboards. Once I humorously said that by their mobile phones you shall know them. Others insist on their relationships being kept secret so that the other people they are having affairs with won’t get a wind of their clandestine activities. Whatever form obsession with privacy takes, it is a clue that all is not well with the relationship. The reason why such privacy means so much to an individual is primarily that, what they are doing in private is questionable. Do not be fooled.
Some claim that true love cannot thrive without true lies, I beg to disagree. When you notice that all the stories you are being fed in the relationship don’t add up, you are probably being cheated upon. I have met pathological liars in my lifetime that the safest way not to be hurt by them is to believe the exact opposite of whatever they tell you. When such inconsistencies become repetitive and pathological you know you are in trouble. Whenever you notice that every inconsistency you discover is given another cover-up story from your lover, face the facts. You are being lied to and very soon the harvests of such lies would be an eventual heartbreak.
One of the signs that your lover is being distracted by another is an automatic decline in their commitment to you. No lover should take a major decline in commitment lightly, something is usually wrong. One lady said I am very happy that my husband doesn’t bother me for sex anymore. What she doesn’t know is that there is another woman out there, filling her husband’s sexual blank spaces. It is as if our hearts were made by the creator, not to be able to balance commitment between several love extremes. We can’t be equally committed to several lovers, it is like the proverbial pendulum. The pendulum of love automatically tilts in the direction of greater commitment. If you now find yourself on the side of diminishing commitment, know for sure that all is not well
One thing is certain about cheats, they are low on commitment and high on excuses. There is always an excuse for why they couldn’t make it for your birthday. There is also another excuse why they couldn’t be with you on Val’s day. There is yet another excuse why they couldn’t spend their own cherished birthday with you. The chain of excuses is endless. The uniqueness of their excuses often revolves around crucial and strategic days on your calendar. The true rationale for inventing most of these excuses is that they actually were with someone else. I am not saying that there may not be legitimate excuses that call for understanding on your part. However when such excuses become the order of the day, in the words of the Nigerian music icons Psquare, “WAHALA DEY”.
Your response, if all of the above vices are simultaneously present in your love life. Don’t live in denial. Face the facts. Confront your lover with these facts and secure a change. If however change isn’t in view, exercise your decisive faculties and put the relationship to an end. Life is to short to be lived in commitment to someone who is emotionally distracted. Selah.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE