Must Love Be Stupid?

I have often said that the reason why many fail in love is that they suspend their heads while engaging their hearts. The heart alone is incapable of granting qualitative love outcomes. A new generation of thinking lovers must emerge. Someone asked me what I wanted my legacy to be. I answered that among other things, I would love to be remembered as the foremost love intellectual in my generation. If at the end of my days, I have made a generation think practically about what they call love, I would have been satisfied. This demand for thinking lovers is the greatest need of the hour. The following are some ways that stupidity is exhibited in love.


Love is most fruitful when it is rooted in knowledge. First I believe one cannot effectively love a person that isn’t well known. Secondly, I believe that the subject of love should be made a life long study in other to enhance our effectiveness at it. I actually recommend reading at least one good book on love in a month since love and not work is what makes life worth living. Thirdly, I believe that what we are learning about love and our lovers should be distilled, preserved and shared with upcoming generations so as to stem the tide of ignorant loving that is afflicting our generation. Ignorance even in love is not a virtue.


One thing I have discovered is that we must be courageous enough to see life the way it is and not the way we prefer it to be. Recently, I was shocked to hear about The Shield actor Micheal Jace brutal murder of his beautiful wife April Jace. What stunned me is that this same wife defended him against claims of domestic violence levelled against him by his ex-wife. Apparently the murdered lover was living in denial about her lover’s violent tendencies and that denial got her murdered. Love covers a multitude of sins not all of them. We must be willing to face the facts even in our love.


Few measure the impact that their so-called love is making on them, as well as the direction in which their love is taking them. Without a culture of review and measurement in love, things would have gone awfully wrong before we notice them. We must be bold enough to set our objectives and be courageous to ask if these objectives are being met by our involvement in love. Based on our measurement, we must be able to say when enough is enough.

The sum of the matter is that we must be fiercely analytical of our love lives if we are going to attain excellence and we must refuse to love with our eyes and minds closed.


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