Sometime ago I was watching Rihanna‘s blockbuster music videoWe found love in a hopeless place“. I was quickly impressed by the quality of the audio visual production performed by an imperially talented and award winning musician. Just as I was getting carried away, I noticed something more scary and devastating about the video as I began to unravel the destructive impact that the love she claimed to have found had on her. The music video portrayed drugs, recklessness, and personal destruction as the out come of her so called love. I really began to wonder.This fits perfectly into the fourth kind of relationship that is worth breaking. I call them CORROSIVE RELATIONSHIPS. A corrosive relationship is one that has a destructive effect on those involved in it. One of the greatest tendencies lovers have is to evaluate our relationships only on the bases of feelings alone (affection). The inadequacy of evaluating our relationships by affection is that we run the risk of falling into the pit of sentiments. If the truth be told, the same people we feel good about can make us do bad, be bad and end bad.

This is why I recommend two additional ways of evaluating our relationships. The first is by what the relationship is making me(transformation) and the second is by where the relationship is “taking” me(direction).

Evaluating your love life by TRANSFORMATION is what you get when you attempt to answer the question; How is this relationship changing me? What is this relationship making me into? Am I a better person for being in this relationship? It is important to realize that iron sharpens iron,so does a man the countenance of his friend. The other question we must ask is that, Is my lover’s influence on me making me more of the kind of person I want to be? The answers to the above questions will equip you with the courage it takes to decide on the relationship’s validity.

The second,which is evaluating your relationship by DIRECTION is what you get when you try to answer the question; Where is this relationship taking me? A lot of the people we love are actually taking us no where. I call the relationships that give us destiny momentum-kinetic relationships. Some relationships are actually taking us no where good.

Having evaluated our relationships, we can then confront the facts. Some relationship have contributed nothing to us but vices. Some others have taught us all of the bad habits we are currently struggling with. Worse still others have set us back several years in terms of achievement and accomplishments. We must come to terms with the facts,and we must act upon the facts and put an end to all corrosive relationships.

Over the years I have learned to be more loyal to my destination in life than my affections. I have discovered that some of the people I have the greatest affection for have been the greatest hindrances to timely arrival at my destination. I have learnt to distance my self from them for the sake of my destiny. This has not been easy most of the time,but I assure you arrival at my destiny has been a great compensation for me.

I recommend that you begin to rid your life of all corrosive influences. Realize that if you find love in a hopeless place,doing hopeless things that love will have a hopeless end. One of the most humbling facts I discovered is that if you sentimentally allow people to corrode your values,after you are destroyed,they will simply leave you for the next person.

Insist that anybody you decide to settle for in love must not only pass the primary test of affection, but the secondary test of transformation as well as the tertiary test of direction. A love choice that passes these three fold tests will not fail to yield to you the sweet fruit of fulfillment in love. The right partner will not only make you feel good, they will make you do good,be good and end good. I believe in you.

Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly,Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter

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  1. One of the most humbling facts I discovered is that if you sentimentally allow people to corrode your values,after you are destroyed,they will simply leave you for the next person..WORD

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