I was informed by a lot of our readers that the link to yesterday’s article did not open in some nations. We strongly apologize for any inconveniences caused. I recommend that everyone of our readers follow my blog directly by submitting their emails to us. This will ensure that all my writings are delivered to your email boxes as soon as they are being published. To follow us directly, you can check the right side of our blog page, if you are opening the web platform of our WordPress page. I also recommend that all questions be sent to our email address at lovedynamix@gmail.com. We will endeavor to answer as many of them as possible.Today we are going to be dealing with the third kind of relationships worth breaking, and they are EXPLOITATIVE RELATIONSHIPS. An exploitative relationship is one in which one of the partners is genuinely in love,while the other partner is being used. It is what happens when a lover and a user get into a relationship. Have you ever felt the bitter sting of betrayal when you discovered that you were being used by another all along?

To understand this dilemma, you must realize that every lover has a subconscious agenda. An exploitative relationship evolves when the various love agendas are not harmonized. There are two kinds of people in life. The first see love as an end in itself,while the other sees love as a means to an end. Those who see love as a means to an end, will always exploit their lovers to get to that end.

To unravel the hidden agenda that your lover has, you must both answer the question: Why am I in this relationship? What is my hidden motive in love? If the motive of loving isn’t purely love some one will get exploited in the end. Here are some likely hidden agendas that people may have for being in love.

  • Sex agenda – entering a relationship just for sex

  • Financial agenda – entering a relationship to make financial ends meet

  • Vengeance agenda – getting into a relationship just to be able to get back at someone who hurt you

  • Fun agenda – entering a relationship for the fun of it.

  • Marriage agenda – entering a relationship purely to get married.

  • Professional agenda – going into a relationship with some one so as to get ahead professionally.

  • Loneliness agenda – going into a relationship just because you are feeling lonely.

  • Love agenda – getting into a relationship because you love the person absolutely.

The list is endless because there are a thousand and one reasons why people go into a relationship. What is important is that we personally discern the underlying motive for ourselves and that of our partners. We must then ensure that there is a parity between our individual agendas.

Let me explain. If someone with a primary sex agenda goes into a relationship with someone with a genuine love agenda, the genuine lover will be used and exploited as a tool for the sexual satisfaction of the other.

Another scenario is between someone who has a marital agenda and a person who has a friendship agenda. Such an arrangement could bring about marital delay. Another scenario is the relationship between someone who has a financial agenda and a genuine lover. The lover’s finances will be exploited dangerously for as long as the relationship exists.

The point here is that the bases of all exploitation in love, is the divergence in respective agendas of the lovers involved. To be exploitation free, we must endeavor not to give a prospective lover the wrong reasons to fall in love.

For example, in my generation “SEXY” has become the new cool. We are encouraged to look sexy,dress sexy,talk sexy and even act sexy. In fact many will stop at nothing to attain the status “SEXY” because it is the new elite class. As harmless as this sounds it is very dangerous. The danger of perfected sexiness is that sex becomes the dominant agenda and reason why most prospects approach you. They get attracted for the wrong reasons and after having their way,move on to the next person that gives them a better reason.

We must refuse to be used. We must be discerning of the hidden agendas of those who claim to love us. We must endeavor to harmonize the agendas of those we are in relationship with. If the agendas cannot be harmonized,and a pattern of exploitation is established,we must be decisive enough to walk away.

There are two kinds of lovers on earth, users and makers. Users exploit our love for them, for their selfish ends but makers believe that the motive of love should be love alone and they live out their creed by loving absolutely. We must close up to users and open up to makers alone. We must not send out conflicting signals by giving people the wrong reason to be with us. For example we must not be communicating sex when our real desire is for love. We must learn to love for love’s sakes alone.

Another way to uncover the hidden motive of your lover is to withhold what you discern to be their hidden agenda from them in the relationship. So if you discern that this person is simply with you for sex,withhold sex from them and see what happens. If you discern they are there for your money,withhold money from them and see what happens. What ever a person will leave you for,is a clue to what is more important than you in that relationship. If they leave you over money,then money is over you in their scale of preference. If they will leave you over sex,then sex is over you in their scale of preference.

A note of warning here to the married. Withholding won’t work for you in marriage. It is best applied in premarital situations. However you should still strive to be the dominant obsession of your marriage partner in whatever way you can. In general, we must be aware that, the only two ways to know where you stand in a relationship is what your partner is willing to leave you for and what they can’t leave you for. Don’t be exploited. Love you and see you tomorrow.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assemby.
@lovedynamix on twitter.

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. Thank u sir, for being a God’s sent. In a time like ds to my generation: to unveiled the dark n shady truth of love.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: