So much is being said today about the search for true love that one would think love was lost. Is true love really that hard to find? Why are so many people wearied in their search for this glorious virtue? There are no simple answers to these complex issues but in the course of these article I will attempt to unravel why the attainment of love has become an elusive mystery for many who desire it. It is my hope that reading this will help many find what they have long been looking for.I have often said that how you define a thing will determine if and how you find it. The first reason why love is elusive for many, lies in how they have come to define it. One of the most exciting activities of my life has been to be a collector of the various definitions of love. From those who claim that love is an ocean of emotion, to those who define it as when one feels a feeling you have never felt before,the various acrobatic definitions of love has never failed to crack my ribs in laughter.

Some people’s definitions actually come hot off the press of the latest romance novels, to even the latest Hollywood blockbuster romance movies. The challenge for such romantics is that very few actual lovers are ever able to measure up to the figment of imagination of creative romance writers, they have come to hold so dearly. While I am for wholesome entertainment 100%, I must confess that those who worship the images and ideals projected by such entertainment mediums, end up not falling in love with a person, they end up falling in love with their idea of love. The unrealistic expectations created by these portraits of romantic love becomes the blinding veil that hinders many from recognizing realistic love when they are face to face with it.

Most will agree with me that ideas are easier generated than implemented. Those who confuse the fiction of entertainment with the fact of their attainment are most likely to end up frustrated for life. We must therefore define love realistically based upon what is practicable,attainable and available to us here and now, in other not to be victims of the imagination of romantic writers.

The second reason why love seems hard to find is because we tend to seek it out in all the wrong PHASES of our lives. The globalization of western values has created a world where even toddlers seem to be eligible for emotional affairs. It is not uncommon to see 6 and 7 year olds claiming to have their own special boyfriends and girlfriends. Sociological proponents of early sex education have also advocated that parents should feel comfortable to discuss these issues with their children. Funny as this may sound,a cursory observation of the mobile phones of young teenagers will most likely reveal the fact that they seem to be operating at a far advanced level of opposite sex or same sex interaction than even their parents.

The implication is that far too many of our young people are being introduced into the battlefield of love and sex before they are psychologically matured enough to understand what they are doing. I mean what does a 10year old understand about the complexities of making love work? The outcome is that most of their foundational experiences of love are painful,twisted and bizarre. Many of them grow up holding on to these lopsided perspectives for the rest of their lives.

There is also such a thing as seeking for love too late. Many do not realize that love is easier found at the strategic points in which social interaction is highest in our lifetime. These often takes off at the basic phase of our education and reaches a peak in our university years. It then begin to decline as we work and age. This means that our pursuit of life long love should be most aggressive at the points in which social interaction is highest,particularly our university or college years. This also means that the ability to balance both academic and emotional pursuits is vital, if we are to stand a better chance at finding love. We are definitely not endorsing desperation in the pursuit of love,but I will prefer to call it developing tempered but aggressive and strategic pursuit of love. If God is love as the christians affirm,we are also admonished to seek him while he may be found. This to me means there might be times when love may not be easily found.

We must as such develop an understanding of the times where our love lives are concerned, so that we will know what ought to be done per time. Failure to develop this strategic evaluation of our love lives in relation to times and seasons might birth the painful experiences of delay in our love lives.

I am out of word count for today but I will continue on this vital subject of how to find true love tomorrow. Until then I think it might be safe to earnestly hope and pray that you never miss the time of the visitation of your love. See you tomorrow.


Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423

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  1. Correct definition (or disription) precedes identification.If we can’t correctly define what we are searching for, we won’t recognise it, even if it is found. I also appreciate that Reverend mentioned the relevance of ‘right timing’ in searching for love. Grace be multiplied unto you sir!

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