Love must be proven before it can be embraced. One writer said we must prove all things,and hold fast to what we have found to be good. This must mean that it is a colossal mistake to hold fast to any form of love before proving it. Most of us know the practical risks of paying for a product you haven’t tested. Such products though cheap, come without a warranty and a guarantee and they often leave a bitter experience for the purchaser.Do you know in love,that this cheap brand of love exists? It is a love without tests,guarantees and warranties. You can imagine someone telling his partner “Let’s just go out, I am not promising or guaranteeing anything but let’s just go out”. If you wouldn’t dare to buy a commodity without testing it, how dare you settle for a lover without testing them? Notice I said testing, not tasting. Is your life less valuable than that commodity? But to successfully test a love prospect you must know what the proofs of authentic love are.
The first proof of love is GIVING. Stinginess, selfishness and love cannot go hand in hand. True love gives. It is always amazing for me to discover that some people carry on relationships without gifts of any kind. Some even claim that the reason why they don’t give is because they don’t have and I beg to disagree. Everybody has something. Love never demands that you give what you don’t have, love only demands that we give what we have.
What matters to love isn’t that you give to it the whole world, what matters to it is that, you give a piece of your little world. This is why comparison is dangerous. To whom much is given, much should be expected. It is very important not to expect from your partner more than is given to them. If you do that, you become demanding and being demanding creates resentment.
You must also beware of foolish giving. There is a kind of giving that facilitates personal destruction. One example of foolish giving is indulgence in premarital sex. It is sex without commitment and it often times ends in emotional pain. I once had to deal with a young woman who was getting pathologically pregnant for her lover, each time aborting the pregnancy to save their reputation in the community. She eventually developed medical complications and to worsen the case, the guy she had foolishly sacrificed for dumped her for someone else. Such kinds of self destructive giving should be avoided at all cost.
Some of the greatest love gifts aren’t even material in nature, but they go a long way to confirm the love we claim to have for our lover. Let’s look at a few of them.
THE GIFT OF TIME: We all have 24hours of it. Time is also the unit of measurement for our life. You can’t share your love,without sharing your time. As such time is a big deal. One of the signs that someone’s love should be questioned is when they seem to be making excuses for not spending time with you. Whereas when we really love,we would be generating excuses to be with each other. Time spent together is the context of intimacy. So to not give love the time it takes to be nurtured,is to settle for a superficial love life.
- THE GIFT OF LOYALTY: Love hates to have to compete. That’s the essence of jealousy. This is why the greatest gift you can give your lover is to be true to them. The opposite of loyalty is duplicity. There is a joy that comes from knowing you are the only one in your partner’s life. The pain of betrayal is the worst thing you can inflict on your lover. The way you test for this is by keenly observing your prospect to see if the seed of loyalty is at work in their other relationships. Is the person loyal to friends,family, God and others? If not they won’t automatically develop loyalty with you.
THE GIFT OF YOU: The hardest thing to give another is yourself. I am not talking about giving your body just yet. I am talking about giving your whole self. Partial commitment is one reason for mediocre relationships. Can this person give you their all? Or are they hoarding themselves from you. One thing is certain,you can’t make love work with a withdrawn and reluctant person.
Giving, sacrificial giving, holistic giving, consistent giving, and timely giving are all a proof that the love you’ve found is real. If your love experience is otherwise,it is time to question its validity to the core.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE.
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