Perfecting our love lives will be impossible if we don’t first learn how to create a perfect love environment. This has been our contemplation for over a week now. Today, we want to add another ingredient to our love arsenal. It is the force of communication.Love is exclusively a game of communication. Any deficiency in our ability to communicate will greatly hinder the establishment of our love lives. This communication is both an art and a science that no serious minded lover can afford to be ignorant of. It is the lifeblood of all successful relationships.

When competence in communication is deficient in relationships,reactions become the order of the day. This is one question I would like to ask every lover today. Is your relationship a communicative one or a reactive one? The only alternative to being a communicator is to be a reactor. One thing you can count on is that reactors don’t succeed in love. Being a student of the nuclear sciences myself, it is intriguing for me to realize that nuclear reactors are at the core of most nuclear bombs due to their extreme ability to generate heat. These bombs are still one of the most destructive forces known to man.

Likewise a relationship can become radioactive due to the reactionary tendencies of the partners involved. Such relationships are known for overheating, as outbursts of anger and violence becomes the order of the day. Ultimately, like their scientific equivalent, such nuclear relationships are the most destructive emotional force known to man.

It is important to note at this point that you cannot communicate. In other words, everybody communicates at some level. Even the inability to communicate is a form of communication in itself. What is in question is will you be a good communicator or a bad one. What is in question is not if you will communicate,it is what and how you will communicate.

You must also realize that communication is the art of winning hearts. The reality is that our hearts usually belong to the one who successfully communicates with us the most. You must therefore equate your inability to communicate with your partner with the loss of their heart. It is as if the price one has to pay for taking possession of a human heart is excellent communication. The implication of this reality is grave, particularly if you allow someone else outdo you in communication with your partner. Now we turn to some practical tips for excellent communication.

  • GET THE TONE OF COMMUNICATION RIGHT: Our words and the tone of our voice can carry mutually exclusive messages. This means that what you say and how you sound could be two different things. You can say I am sorry but not sound sorry. Unfortunately because human beings are not just word sensitive, we are also tone sensitive. We tend to derive our meaning from the tone of our interactions. This is why a good communicator is one who has mastered the ability to harmonize what they say with how they sound. So that both their words and their tone are conveying a singular message. You must ensure that your tone is not sabotaging your words,if your communication is to be effective.

  • GET THE TIMING OF YOUR COMMUNICATION RIGHT: It is remarkably instructive that the creator didn’t come down to communicate with Eden’s inhabitants in the heat of the day,he did so in the cool of the day. This is because time can either work for you or against you in communication. One medieval politician insists that there is a time to keep silence and a time to speak. This is because time in itself is a communicator,and what the time is saying might be contrary to what you are trying to say. On a personal level I have noticed that discussing a heated issue with me over a meal often makes me loose my appetite. It is either the issue gets trashed out and the meal gets neglected or vice versa. You must also study your own partner to know when they are most open to communication,and schedule your communication around that time. Some married couples have told me that they are most open to intense communication after sexual satisfaction has been attained. Whatever the case may be, find out what time works best for you and use it.

  • GET THE TERRAIN OF YOUR COMMUNICATION RIGHT: Environment matters to successful communication. Certain atmospheres can hinder qualitative communication. For instance, correcting your partner in public is often counter productive no matter how legitimate the grounds are. This isn’t necessarily because your partner disagrees with your opinion,but because almost everyone hates to feel publicly incompetent in the eye of strangers. One can not overestimate the role of privacy, especially when difficult feelings are to be communicated. In communication it is first important to set the atmosphere before setting the agenda. We must also choose the atmosphere of communication carefully because some atmospheres can distract the couples from the issue at hand.

All communicators must keep asking themselves these three questions. Is the tone of my communication right? Is the timing of my communication right? And Is the terrain of my communication right? So as to succeed in communication. We will get deeper into this subject tomorrow. Do have a dynamic week ahead.


Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 291C00DD

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

Enhanced by Zemanta


  1. Thank you so much for that sir !!! Am so privileged to be a daughter .waking up everyday with the joy of reading love dynamics is the peak of my day .Am sure going to get it right this time around !!

  2. Most time I wish I had known about love dynamics, probably I might be with that one whom I truely love and would have understood him more better

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: