When most people claim to be working on their love lives, what they are mostly doing is working on the hardware and not the software of their love lives. Working on the hardware could mean trying hard to be more attractive to your lover. The truth however is that fixing the external doesn’t necessarily guarantee that everything will be alright.The software of love on the other hand deals with the internal ATTITUDE of love. That is where the big deal is with our love lives; ATTITUDE. The attitude of your love is more important than the altitude and magnitude of your love. When many boast about their love, they are most likely referring to altitude and magnitude not attitude. Just as the software of a technology device places an obvious limit on what that device can do and achieve, the software of our love life can limit the potential of our love accomplishments greatly.

Many are frustrated with the state of things in their love lives,the truth is that their love software or attitude might require a major upgrade. Without this attitudinal upgrade, their frustrations are bound to continue. For instance, there is an attitudinal disposition that will guarantee arrival at marriage. There is another attitudinal component that will guarantee a successful marriage. We must take time to ensure that our attitude in love, measures up at all times to our desired outcomes in love.

A device’s software is made up of a standard set of programs written by a programmer,that specifies in detail the protocols and activities that the device is permitted to carry out. Similarly,your love software(attitude) is made up of conclusions and decisions arrived at based upon past events and experiences. If those experiences are negative, the negative conclusions and decisions are likely to give us a negative attitude to love and our lovers altogether. We most not allow our past negative experiences shape our love life no matter what. Doing so will infect our future with the negativity of our past. Don’t let your past program you for failure in future. It is also important not to allow a failed programmer be responsible for your love software development. Don’t let failed lovers sell their ideas of love to you. The way I see it, it will be difficult for anyone to give you what they don’t have in love.

  • BEWARE OF OVER FAMILIARITY WITH YOUR LOVER: The moment you can no longer see anything special about your spouse,an attitude of over familiarity has set in. The danger is that outsiders might be able to see and celebrate what you can’t see in your lover. So make sure you maintain a sense of awe about your lover, no matter how long you have been together. I have often said maturity is indeed the ability to maintain proximity without familiarity. Please watch it.

  • BEWARE OF SELF PROMOTION: There are certain selfish individuals who are addicted to having the preeminence in love, for it to work. It is either them first or nothing meaningful can happen. These egoistic megalomaniacs make the worst of all lovers. They always believe that life is meant to revolve around them for things to work. The reality however is that life isn’t just about you. Genuine love isn’t about subjugating your lover for your ego sake, it is about releasing them.
  • DON’T BE TOO BIG TO SERVE YOUR LOVER: There are many whose attitude of pride won’t allow them to serve their lover. Service is however the principal role of love. Love can only be comprehended by others, if it takes the form of a servant. The moment you stop serving,you have stopped loving.
  • ENDEAVOUR TO PUT YOURSELF IN YOUR LOVER’S SHOES: If you were to be the one on the receiving end of what you are offering your lover,how would you feel? This question must be asked of ourselves regularly to ensure that our attitude towards our lovers are fair and right. It is the zenith of injustice in love to offer your partner what you can’t take. One writer said the surest way not to step on your partner’s toes is to put yourself in their shoes.

We must keep on working on our attitudes so long as we are alive and in love. With every information we acquire,there must be added upgrades and updates of our attitude in love. This commitment to the constant improvement of our attitude is the surest sign of growth in a lover.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

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