disappointmentThey broke your heart,cheated on you,betrayed your trust and undermined your love for them. Such situations aren’t strange in our postmodern love jungles. If you couldn’t successfully prevent such love disappointments from happening,what matters now is how you are going to handle it. Such love disappointments have caused negative tipping points in people’s lives primarily because they developed one of these three attitudes to their subsequent lovers. The first is generalizations, the hurt lover concludes that all men or all ladies are the same, without giving their present lover the opportunity to prove themselves. The second is a negative attitude of vengeance – a determination to make their next pay for what their ex did to them. The third attitude developed by the hurt is one of total withdrawal from the love domain altogether. These three attitudes can destroy our potential for fulfillment in love altogether if we erroneously adopt them. Here are some vital ways to handle love disappointments.

  1. BE CLEAR AND OBJECTIVE ABOUT YOUR ROLE IN THE LOVE DISAPPOINTMENT: You arrive at this facts by sincerely answering the question; How did I personally contribute to the downfall of this relationship? I know when we are disappointed in love,we have an insatiable desire to make our partners responsible for all that went wrong. Such tendencies blinds us to our complicity in the matter. When analyzing why most of my early relationships failed, I was shocked to realize that my lack of communication with them owing to distance, was the recurring decimal that brought us down. Personally realizing my communication weaknesses,made me prioritize communication in my marriage,and it has been exciting.

  2. SEE THE GOOD YOU’VE DONE IN THE RELATIONSHIP AS A SEED AND NOT A LOSS: If you see the good you’ve done as a loss,you may never recover from the loss. However if you see the, love, loyalty, gifts and all the good you’ve done for your partner as a seed, you can live in expectation of your positive harvests. The reality is that as long as the earth remains, seed time and harvest won’t cease, in other words,what goes around comes around, so you must decide to be around when your good harvests come around. All the good you’ve done is not lost, they are bound to come back to you,in form of multiplied goods, if you refuse to give in to exasperation.
  3. SEE THE BAD THEY’VE DONE TO YOU AS A SEED: If that makes you comfortable, realize that those that hurt you are bound to pay for it in life,if they refuse to realize their mistakes and change. Their deeds will eventually catch up with them. However, it is not your business to make them pay, or to know how they’re going to pay. Forgiving them and moving on with your precious life is your personal business. It has sometimes been very humorous for me to realize that many sexually abusive men, tend to give birth to countless daughters. It is as if the creator and life is setting up their seeds to pay for their wrongs if they don’t change. Relax, life has a way of catching up with the disappointers.
  4. SEE YOUR DISAPPOINTER AS NOT BEING WORTHY ENOUGH TO BE YOUR HARVEST IN LOVE AND LIFE: The fact that they disappointed you,means they weren’t appointed for you. It means they didn’t deserve you. It means they aren’t good enough a harvest in love for you. Don’t grieve them,rather see their disappointment as a revelation and a redirection.
  5. REALIZE THAT LOVE DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE BETTER EARLIER THAN LATER: If a person cheated on you and called off your courtship,Would it have been better if they did so after marriage? The earlier the manifestation of a lover’s unreliability in the love enterprise,the better it is for the serious minded partner. Time wasted can add to the severity of pain during love disappointments. However,when a disappointer in love manifests themselves early,it gives you time to recover,time to re-strategize and time to reposition yourself for future significance in love,and for that you should be grateful.

Adopting these strange perspectives to our love disappointments will not only enable us heal faster,it will imbue us with the strength to love again and it keeps us from the bitterness of heart that so often corrupts the prospects of future love possibilities. Its time to raise our thinking regarding all disappointments past. Hopefully,tomorrow will be better than today.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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