Have you ever wondered why some people with less than glamorous looks tend to secure the attention and commitment of their lover for a long period of time, even years? While some more attractive people struggle with finding anyone to commit to them for the long term? The answer is R-E-S-P-E-C-T. We all cannot seem to resist or ignore genuine respect for us.Men particularly are most susceptible to respect in the opposite sex. In most unfortunate scenarios when matured men cheat on their spouses, it is often with a person who itches their need for respect in social interactions. Of course this means that if as a lady, you are too heady to respect your man, you may have lost him to begin with. Ladies also find men who respect them sincerely, irresistible, among all the male chauvinists around. A man who genuinely respects his lady is bound to be a cherished asset.

It is crucial not to see our call for mutual respect in love,as a call to self belittlement,no. After all, we are as humans, the zenith of the creator’s creations, as well as the apple of his eyes. We must personally think highly of ourselves as individuals and place the utmost value on ourselves. The value we don’t confer on ourselves will never be confirmed by others. We have no business hanging out with any abusive personality who doesn’t affirm our inherent worth. If the creator hasn’t made us his doormat, no human being has the right to make us theirs.

Our self affirmations must however not cross the boundary of pride. It is pride my dear,that is the mother of all failed relationships. Pride is the aroma of relational destruction. Pride is the burial ground of intimacy. If you have let your self dignity spill over into pride,its time to acknowledge it and retreat from it,if you don’t want to fail in love. Once I was intimated with the broken marriage of a High Court Judge, whose pride cost her, her marriage. She confessed in tears that her marriage failed because her legal pride and prowess made her turn every conflict at home into a legal battle. Which she definitely won because of the profundity of her legal arguments at home. Eventually the husband got up silently one day and left for a younger and less argumentative lady, never to return home again. It took her chronic loneliness to discover that professional pride had cost her, her home forever. It is wisdom as a professional not to bring the rigid ethics of your profession into your home. Many have failed as a result of this singular factor. Be humble and respectful. Some key points below.

  • RESPECT YOUR PARTNER‘S CHOICES. Hopefully, in love you should have chosen an adult and not a child. It is your duty to respect your lover’s choices, including their decision not to decide to choose you. What I think a lover should do is to acquaint their beloved with the consequences of each decision and leave them to make their decisions. The tendency to micro-manage our partner’s decisions can make us manipulative in love. Take a cue from our creator, though he knows that it is in our best interest to choose him, he still respectfully gives us the personal privilege of choosing him. Love isn’t love, if it isn’t giving a choice.

  • RESPECT YOUR PARTNER’S PRIVACY. It is true that transparency is a critical success factor in all relationships. However transparency that is forced will lead to opacity. Forcing or nagging your partner to open up will cost you in the end. What works is for them to be personally convinced of the value of openness. If however all your attempts to stimulate transparency responsibly has failed. You personally will have a choice to make,whether to continue with them or not.
  • RESPECT YOUR PARTNER’S PERSON: You can’t disregard your partner in public and expect them to love you in private. You can’t treat your lover like trash in public and think that your environment will place value on you and them. If you call your husband a nobody, doesn’t that make you Mrs Nobody? If you call your wife a nobody, mister what does that make you? We must realize that disrespecting your lover, says more about who you are, than about who they are.
  • RESPECT YOUR PARTNER’S ABSENCE: If you won’t do it in their presence, don’t do it in their absence. I am fully persuaded that we aren’t human beings having a spiritual experience,we are spiritual beings having a human experience. This is why what we say or do against our partners in their absence, will affect our flow with them in their presence. Respect their memory and honor their absence with your personal responsibility.

We must end this writing the way we started it. If we want to be irresistible, we must be respectful. The way we treat our partners should confirm and affirm their inherent worth as individuals. We must not in our wildest dreams, assume that the world around us will confirm the value of our lovers,if we haven’t personally affirmed it. Most of all we must realize that lack of respect within,will make our partners susceptible to temptations of respect without. If you want to keep what you have respect it,if you want to keep the one you have, respect them. No one can resist respect.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

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