Many have come to see the sentence “I love you” as the magic wand that opens the heart of anyone they desire. Ladies harass their men for not saying it a hundred times a day, while men try to dodge having to say so until they mean it. The words “I love you” are perhaps the most controversial words ever spoken by man and they will continue to be for generations to come.As powerful as those words are, it is a shocking discovery that love is not enough to guarantee successful outcomes in our relationships. The more matured you become in life, the more you will realize that it is not everybody you love that you can live and end up with. Many couples who are genuinely in love might not end up together because of certain critical factors I will try to share in this article.

“I LOVE YOU” is not enough if you won’t MEAN IT

Many have subtly discovered the wonder working power of those three words that they just throw it around freely without comprehending the gravity of commitment that it will take to live it out in practical terms. One writer insists that these people draw near to me with their lips but their heart is far from me. I call this phenomenon LIP LOVE. Flatterers abound today; who will verbally promise heaven and earth to their lovers and fail to deliver even the earth. This is why we must not believe everyone who tells us they love us until they prove it. Sometime in future I will share on the 21proofs of love so that you can never be deceived again.

Ladies who clamor to be loved must understand that it is more important for a man to mean it than to say it, even though saying it is important. Men on the other hand must understand that saying it to a woman is as important as meaning it to her. But on the overall we shouldn’t believe any love that doesn’t have the guts to prove itself.

“I LOVE YOU” is not enough if you won’t SHOW IT

Many today are settling for a secret brand of love and that is strange. Many agree to relationships with a code of silence, as interesting as it sounds. Many ladies particularly have been a victim of serial lovers because they kept every detail of their relationship secret to their own peril. I once learnt of a guy who dated four friends successfully and had sex with them all in one month because he convinced them to keep the affair a secret from each other.

It is unnatural for you to hide love, because genuine love cannot be hidden. When you love a car, you talk about it; when you love a jewelry, you talk about it. Why on earth should it be different when you love a person? Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Our lips can’t stop talking about things our heart is full of. There are certain reasons why your lover will be content to keep you a secret. One, they aren’t proud of you, and anyone who is not proud of you cannot be yours. Two, they may not want someone they are actually seeing to be aware of you. In which case the one they are hiding you from,is more important to them than you who is being hidden. Three, it could be that they are not yet sure of you. To which I will ask you what are you doing with a person who is not sure of your place in their life? The only legitimate ground of secrecy might relate to parents and authority figures. To which I will say you can never be sure of a person until you are formally and conspicuously introduced to and embraced by the authority figures in their lives.

Of course I am not saying we should rush to introduce our lovers to the authority figures in our lives but it shouldn’t take forever either to do so. Remember that if that love doesn’t show,such love is not so.

“I LOVE YOU” is not enough if you won’t RESPECT ME

Respect is the software of love. What do you do to the material things you love most? Do you handle them carelessly? Do you treat them any how? Don’t you have a treasured place of value for the material things you claim to be dear to your heart? Why should your lover be any different?

Many shout on their lovers, walk out on them during discussions, criticize them in public, physically abuse them, verbally insult them and at the same time claim to be in love. That is absurd. One lady said to me that ‘I love a man that beats me up’; it means he loves me enough to discipline me. I laughed and told her that going by your opinion, him murdering you should be the zenith of the expression of his love for you. TRASH!!! If you aren’t respected you aren’t loved. Period.

“I LOVE YOU” is not enough if you won’t COMMIT TO ME

Commitment is the highest honor of love. Anything short of that is fake. Many lovers today are drowning in an ocean of promises made to them, that isn’t backed up with actions of commitment. I will marry you next year. The problem is that next year never ends. Even ten years from now is next year to some. It is crucial that we see commitment as the goal post of all intimate relationships. How do you measure the progress of 22 footballers on a field without a goal post? At the same time, how do you measure the progress of an intimate relationship without commitment in view.

Ladies particularly should be ruthless in evaluating the position of the men in their lives based upon commitment. Someone you like, who commits to you in love is a million times more valuable to you than someone you love who won’t commit to you. Every lady must not joke with a time wasting man who is heading nowhere. Remember there is no male equivalent of menopause. Lady don’t joke with your life. Any love that refuses to justify its validity by absolute commitment should be completely ignored.

Love is something, but love is not everything. The new brand of love isn’t blind anymore. And if your love seems to be blind, let the ideas we have been sharing so far serve as correctional spectacles for your vision in love. It is time you move forward with your life. I believe in you.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on Twitter
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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