MultipleChoiceNo one needs to be a nuclear scientist to discover that, life presents both multiple opportunities and choices for love. Those who erroneously believe that true love only comes once in a lifetime are missing the point. No matter how badly you have failed at your earlier attempts in love, I am persuaded that the creator has someone for you among the over 7billion people on the earth. Please I encourage you not to pessimistically give up on the idea of finding your true love in life.However, what I want to deal with today, is the dilemma of having more than one love prospect to choose from. Making that definite choice of which one of the desirables to settle down with can be a huge challenge. This is especially so, if two or more people possess the attributes that you are looking for. Some, because of this dilemma have coasted along with multiple undefined relationships, hoping that life will choose for them. Life cannot choose for you, because life itself is one of the choices you must make.

Allowing such double minded situations to persist can either hurt you or the people you are holding on to, in profound ways. The menopausal tendencies associated with females particularly makes it wickedness to hold on indefinitely to a lady you don’t have marital intentions for. Conversely, indefinitely withholding the answers to a man’s love proposals can equally be cruel. Love decisions have got to be made promptly, provided adequate time as well as information about your love prospect has been given.

Before I get into the nuts and bolts of handling multiple love choices, a few warnings must be heeded. Do not be pressured and cornered by any one of the love prospects to make a commitment you don’t mean. Secondly don’t let outsiders make the choice for you. Outsiders may include friends, parents,prophets, and relatives. None of them will live with the choice made. I am fully persuaded that in love, the one who is to live with the choice should be the one to make it. Thirdly, don’t be pressured into making permanent commitments based upon temporary circumstances like, pregnancy, loneliness and the likes. So of all the desirables who should you choose or settle for?

  1. SETTLE FOR THE ONE WHO IS A BETTER FRIEND AMONG THE CHOICES: I use the word better because your best friend might have been taken. The only thing worse than not marrying your friend, is marrying your enemy. Great friendship is the soil that great marriages grow upon. When you strip marriage of all its paraphernalia,its just two great friends,living together and working together, for one another’s good. Without friendship, there is no firm foundation to build upon. Choose friendship.

  2. SETTLE FOR THE ONE WHO IS MOST TRUSTWORTHY AMONG THE CHOICES: If you ever have to choose between your trust and your lust. Please choose your trust. To earn your trust the person has got to consistently, over an extended period of time, exhibit integrity, probity, sound character and responsibility. Before trusting, you must have observed your love prospect under diverse conditions to decipher how they consistently respond to adverse circumstances. Trust is key.
  3. SETTLE FOR FAMILIARITY OVER PECULIARITY: We all desire a lover who will sweep us of our feet with their mystical qualities, but we can’t survive living with our feet off the ground, we are not birds. The power of familiarity is discounted in love to our own peril. Marriage however is an institution of brutal familiarity. So who do you know better, of the various choices you have? Whose weakness, are you more familiar with? Without familiarity we are liable to have unrealistic expectations of our partners. This can sometimes lead to rude awakenings in marriage as we first begin to discover the true nature of our partners. The scope of our familiarity should include, their past present and future.
  4. SETTLE FOR SPIRITUALITY OVER CARNALITY: Fun alone won’t make a relationship work, we also need values. By spirituality we aren’t taking about all the external gymnastics of a pseudo-spiritual giant. We actually are taking about the possession of strong spiritual values imposed by the creator. An intimate relationship with the creator can be a positive force in our human relationships. It must be prioritized. A person whose conduct can’t be regulated by the creator won’t be regulated by any mortal human being.
  5. SETTLE FOR THE MOST DILIGENT AMONG ALL YOUR CHOICES: Your partner’s hard work will take care of you both. Laziness is inexcusable. Strategic diligence always guarantees financial security. Since finance is arguably the number one reason for breakup,choosing someone with a first class work ethic is a logical insurance against relationship breakdown. Besides making love work is hard work in itself,so a person’s laziness can rapidly translate to laziness in making love work. We must beware.
  6. SETTLE FOR ACCOUNTABILITY OVER LIBERTY: By this we mean it is always wise to settle for a lover who is willing to be answerable to you,as well as to at least one external leadership figure, who will serve as a mentor and arbiter for the relationship during extreme challenges. It is particularly dangerous for a lady to be submitted to any man who isn’t submitted to anyone else. There should be an external person in the relationship who can serve as a voice of order in the relationship during difficult times. To qualify, such a mentor must be impartial, experienced and must have the genuine interest of both couples at heart. The one among your love prospects, who is most willing to submit to this system of accountability, should be considered.

If your choice of who to settle down with,is filtered through these few principles,the accuracy of your love decision will be greatly enhanced. Do let me know by mail,how your love choice turned out. Have a remarkable week ahead.

Deji Olabode.
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free.

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