I must deeply appreciate all our readers for their remarkable commitment to the love dynamix blog. In the last one week alone, our readers soared with over 2500 new readers from about thirty nations. This would not have been possible without your consistent referral of family and friends to this blog. Indeed the global love revolution is under way and the nations of the earth are bound to be reformed. Thank you once again for your tireless partnership and multifaceted recommendation especially on the social networks.A few days ago, we established the fact that every intelligent lover must have expectations, terms and conditions for their love lives. We admonished that these expectations be made known upfront because, agreement must always precede commitment. We further highlighted some vital areas in which consensus must be reached before the commencement of the relationship so that disappointments can be avoided.

Today, we want to deal with the second step in breaking a relationship responsibly should we ever have to do so. That step is to ensure that you do a detailed LOVE X-RAY of your relationship before giving up on it. Unfortunately, many people have broken up relationships that might have worked, if a detailed love x-ray was done before breaking up.

Radiologically speaking, an x-ray is a kind of electromagnetic radiation discovered by German Physicist Wilhelm Rontgen in 1895. Their uniqueness lies in their ability to penetrate even solid substances and making apparent the internal condition of those substances. X-rays have been used in diagnoses and treatment of a broad range of medical ailments.

On a more relational note, it has been discovered that the cause of many failures in love are more a function of internal issues, than external. As such, a love x-ray will greatly enhance our perception of those internal issues. A love x-ray will give you the discernment it takes to distinguish fantasy from reality in your relationship. It will enable you separate fact from fiction. It wall enable you distinguish assumptions from convictions. Most of all, it will equip you to move from baseless suspicions in your relationship to viable conclusions.

I can tell that you are already beginning to wonder what tools it will take to get a credible love x-ray done. Let me be upfront with you that the tools are not electromagnetic in nature. In fact, the traditional x-rays can only discover physical and not emotional realities. The tools used for doing a love x-ray are questions. Penetrating questions, strategic questions and revealing questions. One writer rightly said that “questions are the answers”.

There are about 100 questions that the love experts at Love Dynamics Global will normally use to carry out a standard love x-ray for couples. However for the purpose of brevity we will only deal with three in this article. Those interested in taking a full love x-ray with our organization can mail us at for details.

The first set of love x-ray questions are what we call POSITIONAL QUESTIONS (Adam where are you?). These questions are meant to unveil the various positions that a couple could have in each others’ lives. The fact is that identifying your present location is a prerequisite to identifying your destination. A person who doesn’t know where they are is as lost as a person who doesn’t know where they are going.

The positional question, Where are you? could be fleshed out to include questions like, Where are we going with this relationship? It is possible to be in an emotionally intense relationship that is devoid of commitment and direction. One should not confuse the warming of a car with the movement of that car. There are emotionally warm relationships that are heading no where at all. In fact sometimes the warming of a car can gulp more fuel than when the car is in motion. Once you begin to feel the warmth of intimacy in a relationship devoid of commitment, you should be willing to ask the hard positional questions before somebody gets hurt.

Positional questions could also be questions like “are you with me?” You will be shocked to realize the volume of individuals whose bodies are trapped in relationships that their hearts have left a long time ago. Positional questions can also be applied to the couples finances,sexuality,spirituality and so forth.

The second kind of Love x-ray questions are called OPPOSITIONAL QUESTIONS (Who told you that you were naked?). With oppositional questions, the couples challenge the source of each others information and ideas. The truth is that there are a million and one voices trying to control the direction of your relationship.

One first century writer put it this way “There are, it may be, so many kinds of voices in the world, and none of them is without signification”. What this means is that you must challenge every voice in your relationship and ensure that the relationship is responding to the right voices.

One of the most destructive influences in a relationship are source-less information. My journalist friends often claim that they heard from a reliable source. I often question them that who is to determine the reliability of the source them or me? Me of course. As far as I am concerned the credibility of any information lies in the revelation of the source. Gossip is simply defined by me as a source-less information.

Unfortunately many people run their relationships on “hearsay’ not realizing that hearsay most times is “heresy”. Some even take it further by basing their accusation and actions towards their partner on gossip and hearsay. This is the number one recipe for love disaster.
It is the zenith of immaturity. We must verify the source of all information and voices in our relationship.

The Last kind of Love X-ray questions are called OPERATIONAL QUESTIONS (What is it this you have done?). With operational questions we challenge the actions and behavior of one another in a relationship. If you can’t question the behavior of your partner you are not in a relationship, you are in a dictatorship.

If you can’t question your partner in a relationship, just know that partner is an idol you have exalted above God. Even God said come and let us reason together. To have a partner you can’t reason with is one of the most tragic occurrences in life. Such totalitarian models of love should be frowned at. Beware also,of individuals who tend to lash out in anger whenever their actions are questioned. Their anger is a sign that they are hiding some mammoth skeletons in their cupboard.

Conclusively, those who deploy positional,oppositional and operational questions in their love x-ray will be rewarded with richer understanding to base their love decisions upon. Heeding this principles will be a testimony to your wisdom in these exciting times.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global.
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
@lovedynamix on twitter

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8 thoughts on “HOW TO GET A LOVE X-RAY

  1. From experience,taking ones decisions and actions based on a baseless suspicion as Yoruba people will say often turn Alare(the Innocent) to Elebi(the Guilty). THANK YOU FOR THIS WORD SIR!

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