Yesterday, we established the fact that though a thriving relationship might be everyone’s desire, it may not be everyone’s experience. One of the reasons is because of extreme social isolation and the second reason is having an extremely cantankerous personality. Those who fall into this category must deliberately work at overcoming such tendencies so as to attract credible partners into their lives. Today, we intend to complete what we started yesterday.
- HARBORING BITTERNESS TOWARD COUPLES: The greatest challenge of not having a thing is to see people around you with it. While this is a realistic challenge,harboring ill feelings towards those that have what you lack, is a sure way to end up lacking it ultimately. Many single people are so bitter towards successful couples that they propound negative conspiracy theories about how they got connected. “Ahh it’s because she is sleeping around that she got married so easily. It’s because he lacks standards and morals. It is because they are living in compromise.” These are just a few of the negative comments propounded by frustrated singles about their engaged counterparts. Even if such allusions are true, the fact that they are coming from a bitter heart makes them counterproductive for the single person. The roots of bitterness generates defilement. And it is unnatural for anyone to want to drink of bitter waters. Can you sincerely and joyfully support someone that is getting married while you are waiting to get married? Can you buy a friend’s wedding gown, while you are living in expectation for your man? If you can’t, there might be a problem. Until we get our attitude right toward those who have what we lack, we may never overcome our lack. Its time to shake off the bitterness. Its time to rejoice with those that rejoice around us. This buoyant and positive attitude towards those who have what we lack,is the cardinal proof that ours is sure to come.
- LIVING AN ANGER FILLED LIFE: All anger problems will eventually translate into relationship problems. Believe me that anger is the fountain of relational failures. Beauty can be turned into ugliness in an instant,if anger is permitted. I know of people who become destructive in their anger just to prove a point. They break furniture, smash plates and tear up clothes in other to express their displeasure. Some even burn up cars and vital documents to show they aren’t happy with their partner. Some other people’s anger is expressed by the use of harsh and unbearable words that were better left unsaid. Some even get to the point of physical abuse. I once dealt with an individual who stabbed and raped his partner just to get his anger across. If you are such a person, no one will want to have anything to do with you. The moment they have a saner option other than you,they are bound to vote with their feet. Our anger often stems out of our inability to control everyone and everything around us, but you don’t have to control everyone and everything around you for you to be okay. If you can’t lead your partner besides still and peaceful waters, you can’t restore their soul to you. If you have an anger problem deal with it,or else someday you might discover that you have been left alone for life. Anger is not a virtue. We can become addicted to anger because it helps us have our way with people faster, but someday soon the road to the other person’s heart might have been completely destroyed beyond repair and that’s when it will all fall apart.
LIVING A PRIDE FILLED LIFE: Nothing is a turn off in human relationships, like pride. Proud people are so full of themselves that little room is left for anyone else. People easily discern this and keep their distances from such proud individuals. Pride is actually self worship,because the proud worship themselves,they are uncomfortable in relationship with anyone who doesn’t affirm them with similar worship. We aren’t deities, at least not yet. We are all flawed, we make mistakes and we all have blind spots. One of the things a good relationship will do is to highlight these areas in us. We must be humble and matured enough to receive secondary input about our shortcomings from our partners. Where we are wrong we must acknowledge it, apologize and change. Should we insist on defiantly walking on in our pride, a day will come when we will be left alone. Believe me when I tell you that day won’t be funny.
We must deliberately work hard to overcoming these five human deficiencies. The starting point is acknowledging the fact that we have a problem in these areas, if we do. The second step is to seek for help both from our partners or our prospective partners as well as other professional sources in our bid to be free. We must submit ourselves to all the necessary recovery processes required of us. Those who successfully put pride, bitterness, anger, isolation and a cantankerous personality on a life long exile, will be rewarded with the richest relationships of all. I am believing yours will be one of such.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE.