Your heart is too delicate to be unprotected. In an earlier article, I spoke about guarding your heart with all diligence. I am convinced that many are wondering how something so intangible can be consciously protected. The art of emotional self defense must be perfected because there aren’t a lot of people around that you can trust with your heart. As a matter of fact there are some for whom heartbreak is a hobby.Be that as it may, every lover must take responsibility for the protection of their heart by avoiding certain kinds of people. Not getting involved with the following people is the smartest way to protect your heart.


Very recently, the entire entertainment community in my nation turned out en masse to celebrate the wedding of one of their own with the husband of another woman whose divorce was inconclusive. Amidst the glamour of the day, I couldn’t help but wonder what the rejected wife would have been going through emotionally, as this wedding took place. But the fact was that nobody cared. Anyway, I will keep my fingers crossed, since I can almost predict the outcome of such social shambles. A person who will dare to be unfaithful to another to be with you, has unequivocally proven in character that you will be next in line for a disappointment.

Unfortunately in the heat of our passion for each other, we often have our sense of judgment impaired. For those who will disregard this principle and dare to snatch someone else’s lover, be sure that you will be restored to your right mind when you become the one on the receiving end of your newly found lover’s lack of character. Are we saying that the legitimately divorced or failed lovers shouldn’t be given another chance? Of course not. They too have the universal right to be loved. But you must ensure that you aren’t the one responsible for the dissolution of their past relationship. Two, you must ensure that their lack of character isn’t what is responsible for the failure of their past relationship. Lastly you must on the overall, familiarize yourself with what really went wrong with what they had before, to be sure you are on legitimate grounds. Only when your conscience is clear that you aren’t breaking up another one’s love life to build up your own,should you give your go ahead in love. Never forget that what goes around comes around.


Laissez faire means let the people do as they think best and que sera sera means what will be will be. Unfortunately, there are certain believers in free love who subscribe to these world view. They are the most dangerous kind of people to give your heart to. They are dangerous because they subscribe to a brand of love that is based upon luck and chance. Such lovers do not believe in commitment in any form. They will even let you know from the beginning that they aren’t promising you anything. It is a brand of love without guarantees. Such love often comes with a disclaimer. These are the lovers that believe in “going out” without “going anywhere”.

Why would anyone agree to the terms of such free love? The first reason is delay and desperation. When you have been alone for so long, a time comes in our lives when we would rather be with anyone than be alone. The danger of succumbing to love in desperation is that we are likely to sell ourselves short. The second reason is for the fun of it, and the third reason is that many have come to believe they won’t have to be hurt if they don’t commit. The reality however is that those who commit to such noncommittal brand of love will have their hearts mortally wounded. To settle for it is to hate yourself with a passion. It will always end in pain.


Imagine with me, a world without accountability to a supreme being whom we call God. Imagine with me a world without the notion of eternal accountability for our actions in time. What do you think our civilization will be if the sole authority for our human actions are derived from our human feelings? The outcome will be a WORLD OF ANARCHY AND INSECURITY. Murder, rape, violence, robbery and all manner of social vices would have been the order of the day.

Now imagine with me a love life without a sense of divine and eternal accountability? One word stands out in my consciousness as the consequence of such love; HEARTBREAK. Without divine accountability, lovers would do what ever they feel like, maltreat each other, selfishness would have been the order of the day. I can’t even begin to imagine the kind of lover I would have been without a sense of divine and eternal accountability for how I treat my wife. The truth is that I would have been dangerous.

Many lovers are going through a living hell today both in their marriages and relationships simply because they gave their heart to someone who lacked a sense of divine and eternal accountability to love. DO NOT REPEAT THEIR MISTAKE. It is high time that this kind of accountability be made a key requirement before giving our hearts to any in love.

Your heart is valuable my friend,the only way you can defend it,is to give it the one who deserves it the most. Such a person must have integrity,must not hold to a laisezz faire perspective of love and they must possess a strong sense of divine and eternal accountability for their love lives. May you find them,and if you have congratulations. Have a remarkable week ahead.


Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
@lovedynamix on Twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423

* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.

* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945

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3 thoughts on “EMOTIONAL SELF DEFENSE 101

  1. Powerful truth! You don’t “rub Peter to pay Paul” in relationship.You don’t live for ” what will be will be” Live a life of accountabily! Thank you Man of God!

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