Love, we said yesterday, is very expensive. Its price is very high. Many fail in love because few are willing to pay the price it takes for love to work. We established that real love will cost you some of your associations, your freedom, your independence and your privacy. Today, we want to complete what we started yesterday.
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REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU YOUR PRIDE: One of the challenges of being so full of yourself is that it leaves no room for your partner in you. Nothing is as repugnant as a proud, heady lover. Pride often precedes every fall. Manifestations of pride often puts the one we love off. There are several symptoms of pride in love. One of them is believing you are always right and your partner is always wrong. Another symptom is believing you are too big to help out with certain tasks, that you believe are meant for your partner alone. Yet another symptom of pride is never being able to apologize and say sorry. Whatever form our pride takes, it is toxic to the success of our relationships. You can either hold on to your pride,or your lover, but you can’t have them both. Even if a lover remains with a proud partner because of external constraints, I guarantee that their heart definitely won’t be there.
- REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU YOUR ILLUSIONS: I hear a lot these days about knights in shining armors and love fairy tales. The question I must ask is, When last did you practically see a knight, a fairy or a medieval armor? Wake up and face reality,they aren’t of use,at least not in our contemporary world. One of the reasons why love may be hard to find for many is because they have come to define it unrealistically. Many are more in love with the idea of love,than in the reality of love. Before you get lost in your lifelong pursuit of perfect love, you may want to ask yourself, if you are perfect or not. The obvious answer is no. It is the height of hypocrisy to demand from your lover,qualities that are lacking in yourself. Let’s face the facts,life happens to most of us. Children may be conceived outside wedlock, divorces happen, negative habits hound some, terminal sicknesses harass others, virginities are sometimes lost,career and financial pressure abound. While very few of us set out desiring such adverse circumstances, we must accept the fact that we may be called to love someone in such situations,it is a badge of honor to love them with all our heart in spite of the challenges of their past.
- REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU YOUR PACE: The fastest way to live is to go it alone. It is however not the most fulfilling way to live. Sometimes love will demand that we slow down,for the sake of the one we love. Many are in relationships and they want to move at the pace of singles. It won’t work. In love sometimes explanations for your actions will have to be made. Consensus will have to be reached. Misunderstandings will have to be resolved. All of these things take time. If you overdrive your lover, your love may die. Sometimes we desire changes in our partner overnight and that is unrealistic. We must allow patience have its perfect work in our love. The pace of love won’t be slow forever, once mutual understanding is achieved, the momentum of the overall relationship picks up, and fulfillment becomes our portion.
- REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU YOUR IDENTITY: We aren’t saying that your identity will be lost entirely in love. We are saying that as you communicate with each other, a shared identity emerges that is far more beautiful than your initial individuality. Those who are unwilling to merge their individuality with that of their partner often create disunity in love. Anyone who values their individuality over shared identity will be problematic in love. We must beware.
- REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU YOUR RESOURCES: One of my revered mentors taught me early in life that it takes finance to run romance. Seventeen years after, I have experienced nothing to make me doubt the validity of his original insights. Those who fail to answer the resource question may as well fail in love. We aren’t saying the material is more important than the emotional. We are simply saying that forever the material will be needed to maintain and sustain the emotional. This could take the form of cash, gifts, meals, clothes, cars to mention but a few.
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REAL LOVE WILL COST YOU, YOUR FAITH: The highest honor you can give to your lover is to both believe them and believe in them. This is never an easy thing to do,owing to the past disappointments that many of us have experienced. For your love to work, the prospect of your future must be more real to you than the pains of your past. It is impossible to love a person without believing in them. Another word for this is trust. If you are unwilling to sow your trust into another,you can’t reap their love. Difficult as this may sound, the easiest way to do this is by only offering your love to people whose divinity within, is by far bigger than their humanity without. That way, your belief and trust in them is not anchored on their humanity without but on their divinity within. In other words only settle for people who are disciplined and matured enough to let their creator regulate their humanity.
Love, once again is expensive,it comes at a very high price. Those who pay the price of sacrifice after making responsible choices in love,will be the only ones who get to the promised land of fulfillment in love. Will you be one of them ?
THE GREATEST IS LOVE.
Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
lovedynamix@gmail.com
@lovedynamix on twitter
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* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.
* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945
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The truth most of us dread. Thank you so much My Revd, God bless you more n more.
Very nice write up. Really enlightening!
The true word as been spoking and read but for the wise ones alone will abide by it….For the fools they read and give not a second thought in their relationship…What a touching words, it breaks my heart to a strong relationship of mine and thought me how to build a home for future..Thanks Rev. Deji Olabode.
Reblogged this on MY TOTS MY MIND and commented:
Can’t afford any of these? Then you are not made to love……Nice write-up