Last week we established the fact that underestimating the role of sex in a man’s life can be the biggest mistake a woman can make. I want to assume that every reader knows that the safest context for sex is marriage. It might be more appropriate for me to title this article what lovemaking means to a husband. I also use the term lovemaking, not because I am of the opinion that having sex is making love, but I use the term as a bridge of understanding between myself and the popular culture of my day.It is crucial that we understand what lovemaking means to our partner because only then will we understand their sexual motivations. It also births in us a willingness to cooperate with their intrinsic desires,thereby leading to greater satisfaction and mutual fulfillment for both parties.
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SEX IS A MEANS OF SELF VALIDATION FOR THE MAN. For most men sex is a way to prove themselves. It seems that there is a close link between a man’s sexual performance, his self esteem and how he feels about himself in general. This perhaps is why aphrodisiacs sell more among men than among women. This linkage between a man’s esteem and his sexual performance is why a smart woman must handle such issues sensitively. If a man does not feel sexually accomplished with his wife,the pursuit of self validation can lure him to explore some of the most ridiculous sexual escapades available to him.
- SEX IS A MEANS OF RECREATION FOR THE MAN. Play is a vital element of the equation of sexual fulfillment for most men. Unfortunately for wives this “play” element in sex can be overshadowed by the “duty” element as the responsibilities of managing a home increases. This shift from sex as fun to sex as duty,is a subtle shift in most marriages that few women seldom notice when it takes place. Most ladies get to know by the rude awakening of their man having an affair with someone they deem less than themselves. Wives who won’t fall victim to this dilemma must turn their bedroom to a sexual playground for their men to be preserved.
- SEX IS A MEANS OF STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR THE MAN. Life can be tough on men as well as women. However for men sex serves as an opportunity to take their mind off the pressing hardships of life. This temporary distraction is one of the strongest antidotes to stress for the man. This is why a sexually deprived husband is often prone to all the stressful maladies known to man. This ranges from anger,shouting,to depression and all what not. This is why sex for the woman is a means of maintaining the emotional cum psychological equilibrium of her man.
- SEX IS A MEANS OF MANIFESTING VULNERABILITY FOR MEN. In a man’s world vulnerability is a negative word. We hate to be vulnerable. All our lives are lived out trying to prove to ourselves and others that we don’t need them. Unfortunately sex seems to be man’s only melting point. It puts us in touch with the fact that in spite of the goals we have accomplished,we still have needs. This vulnerability fosters humility and humility fosters affinity. Matured women do not take such sexual moments of vulnerability for granted,rather they take advantage of it as an opportunity to minister intensively to their man’s sexual needs. This is particularly so,if you married a very strong man.
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SEX IS A MEANS OF ENERGETIC EXERCISE FOR THE MAN. Sex is all about energy for men. Matured women understand danger of having idle sexual energy flowing in the system of their husbands. It is interesting to realize that even the bible accused Isaac of sporting with Rebekah. The reality is that sex is sport for most men. The more energetic the approach to sex,the more excited most men are. Smart wives must factor this reality into their sexual equation,lest they lose their man to someone who does.
These are a few things that lovemaking means to a man. The women who own them must have these realities at the back of their own minds as they seek to fulfill their sexual assignments in the lives of their men. Those attempting to fulfill these needs in the lives of men they aren’t married to must realize that they are engaging in uninsured sex,a sex that has no guarantees. It is my opinion that doing so,is not wise at all.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE
well said!