Structuring your Romance

Your love life needs structure and order. The heartaches that many claim to experience is primarily because their love lives are out of order. In many people’s lives, the emotional has been given a place it should not have. There is an appropriate time for everything including love. Once we get the time, place, person and priority of love all mixed up, there is bound to be a problem. One thing must come before another. Consider the following as a step by step analysis of the protocol of love.

If your love life follows this order and structure, it is most likely to succeed.

The spiritual must come before the emotional

Your relationship with the creator and your spiritual well being is of greater priority than your love life. Beyond the fact that the creator is designated love, the creator is the most potent example and instruction of love. A strong spiritual relationship with your creator also will energize you to overcome the unavoidable challenges that loving someone will bring your way. If this protocol is reversed, we are likely to make the ghastly error of making divine demands of our human partners, and no lover alive can play God successfully, without falling short.

The personal must come before the emotional

It is true that self-sacrifice has some merits in love, but that notion should never be taken too far. If there is no me, there can’t be us. If you fail to take care of yourself, your lover will eventually have nothing to love. Love is not self-loss. Every lover must know when a supposed emotional relationship is costing them their personhood and put an end to it. Love is a giving profession but the giving should be within the context of personal fulfilment and regeneration. You must be matured enough to acknowledge that your lover has a saviour and you aren’t the one. No lover is worth losing yourself over.

The professional must come before the emotional

I am not saying you should love your work above your partner. The fact however is that your work is meant to give you the financial and material wherewithal to display your love for your partner. So priority should be given to your job. The loss of a job and the inability to provide for your lover can be one of the emotionally trying experiences for any relationship. In fact, such intense scarcities and pressures can throw your love life out of the window. No mature lover should compete with their lover’s profession, so long as the profession is generating resources enough for the mutual expression of love. This also is why academic actualization and skill acquisition should be pursued preeminently.

The medical must come before the emotional

All in the name of love, certain individuals take health risks that are best avoided. Many have been infected with incurable diseases by people they deem emotionally close and this ought not to be so. We must deliberately base the validity of the people in our lives upon how much of a health risk they represent to us. We also must insist on them living health responsible lives, in view of the effect their demise will have upon our lives.

The summation of my thoughts on this issue is that some things in life are worth having before we have love. And even after finding love, we must endeavour not to lose these things because losing them will be catastrophic to our love lives. We also must not hesitate to put relationships to an end, if these things aren’t prioritized.


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