Today I intend to take a detour from my line of thought on the issue of breakable relationships to a very crucial issue in love. This issue is encapsulated in the question, How much of truth should be revealed in a relationship for it to be secure.I must acknowledge the fact that untimely disclosure of the truth has led to the end of many relationship as much as withholding the truth for too long. So consider the following as a guideline for handling the disclosure of truth in love relationships. It will also itemize the valid conditions under which truth can be withheld.
TRUTH CAN BE WITHHELD WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW THE PERSON WELL ENOUGH TO TRUST THAT THEY HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART
You can hurt the future potential of a relationship by revealing too much, too soon. An example is a lady who reveals the gory details of her sexual past and struggles on her first date with a love prospect. This could make the love prospect panic,because he has no present knowledge of you to balance the details of your past with.
Whenever the details of your past is being revealed to a person, they immediately begin to balance who you were with who you are to them. If they know little of who you presently are,their estimation of you will weigh more in the direction of who you have been and this can lead to disappointment. Truth should be paced. The more they know you in the now,the more of your past you can reveal. They less of you they really know by experience, the less of you should be revealed. Discretion matters.
TRUTH CAN BE WITHHELD WHEN IT IS OF NO CONSEQUENCE TO YOUR PARTNER
Some individuals make the mistake of sharing every thing with their partner both the relevant and the irrelevant. An example is the person who tries to tell their partner every one who called on them in the office. This should not be necessary if your partner truly trusts you. Beyond the fact that such massive disclosure of irrelevancies are time consuming,they can pass across the wrong signals to your partner that you are overburdened with potential prospects and that may not be the case. Such unnecessary disclosures can lead to insecurity on your partner’s part.
Time will fail me to talk about people suffering from inferiority complex,who inflate and exaggerate the quantity of attention received from the opposite sex just to make their partner feel jealous. For some reason the jealousy of their partner is a boost to their pampered ego. All of this won’t be necessary if a healthy self worth in place.
TRUTH CAN ALSO BE WITHHELD WHEN IT HAS BEEN PROVEN SEVERALLY THAT YOUR PARTNER CAN’T HANDLE IT
There are so many people demanding for the truth that can’t handle an ounce of it. You must discern accurately a person’s capacity to handle the truth before disclosing it. One way to gauge how well a person can handle the truth is by watching their reaction to its disclosure. Overreaction to the truth is a cardinal sign of a person’s inability to deal with the truth. Other signs are panic,anger,withdrawal and blame. Never share truths a person can’t handle .
NEVER DISLOSE THE TRUTH TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO TRUTHS TO DISCLOSE TO YOU
Never put your secrets in the hand of people who have no secrets with you. You could end up being blackmailed. James a first century theologian counseled us to confess our faults to one another,in other to pray for each other so that we would be healed. Disclosure should be reciprocal and mutual not one-sided.
NEVER DISCLOSE THE TRUTH OF YOUR ATTRACTION TO A PERSON YOU ARE NOT COMMITTED TO
Confessing your attraction for the opposite sex intensifies it. If you keep confessing the reality of your attraction to every one that moves you,you will soon be entangled in a web of multiple attractions. Believe me that is a dangerous position to be in. Some things in life are better felt than told.
NEVER DISCLOSE THE TRUTH IF IT HAS THE POSSIBILITY OF DESTROYING ANOTHER WITHOUT POSSIBILITY OF REPAIRING THEM
Truth can be destructive I agree, but there is the destruction that creates an opportunity to build something better in future. There is however the destruction that shatters a thing beyond redemption. The former is more honorable than the latter.
I have a policy of truth that has helped me over the years. I will not dare pull down, if I cannot build up. I will not root out, if I cannot plant and I will not destroy, if I can not create. Do not and I repeat, do not be the source of another’s down fall. These things have a way of coming around in the future. Above all always speak the truth in the spirit of love. Only truth embedded in love has the power to transform. Good morning.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE!!!
Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos.
lovedynamix@gmail.com
@lovedynamix on twitter
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truth all. the way sir. I remembered when I had a crush on someone, I regretted ever telling that person, he used it as an advantage to manipulate my mind. I personally advice that when you are crushing on someone Don’t tell them cos at the end of the day it boost their ego and they start making stupid assumption in. their mind.
I love this
Thanks Sir