Lovers also Cry

All is well that ends well. Unfortunately, not every love experience will end well. In fact, some love experiences are bound to end in tears. Another way to put it is that lovers also cry. Most of the tears, however, aren’t tears of joy. Most of them are tears of sorrow and regrets. The question we want to answer today is why they wept and how you won’t weep.

THEY SETTLED FOR LOVERS WHO LACKED CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY

Lack of character and integrity is the seed of sorrow and tears in love. The moment you settle for a lover for whom integrity is not a priority, you are bound to cry someday soon. People who lack integrity won’t keep either their commitments or their promises to you. Sometimes we downplay the role of character and integrity because such lovers are fun-filled in nature. It is only as the challenge of their lack of integrity outweighs their fun inclinations that trouble begins. You must beware.

THEY SETTLED FOR LOVERS THEY BARELY KNEW

Accidents are bound to happen in life and love when our speed exceeds our clarity of vision. Most weeping lovers are guilty of rushed and rash commitments. They didn’t wait to experience the full spectrum of their prospective lover’s human behaviour before they leapt in love. What such lovers experience are post-commitment shocks at the revelation of who their lover really is. Do not get it twisted, you can only love well, those whom you know well.

THEY MADE UNJUSTIFIED COMMITMENTS

Love is seen in many quarters as a game of commitment. This is actually true depending on who you are making the commitment to. Commitment is actually an investment and any form of investment must be justified. The proverbial parable of the sower identifies four potential recipients of our seeds of commitment. They are the wayside, the thorny ground, the rocky ground and on good soil. Only seeds of commitment made on good soil will yield the harvest of bountiful love. This is why all who seek your love must be qualified and justified before you commit yourself or anything of yours to them. If this is not done realizing the fact that you have wasted your commitment may bring you to tears. What I am saying is that the lover you settle for shouldn’t just desire you, they must deserve you.

THEY SETTLED FOR LOVERS WHO LACKED ACCOUNTABILITY

The idea of autonomy and independence in love can be taken too far. Once those noble virtues are pursued at the expense of accountability, tragedy is often the consequence. Every lover should be answerable to each other. They should also have a matured superior or friend on the outside that provides checks and balances to every lover’s totalitarian tendencies. Without such checks and balances, our love lives are bound to spiral out of control. We must, however, be careful to choose the right accountability partners or else they too could be a source of pain.

THEY SETTLED FOR PEOPLE WHO LACKED A MORAL AND SPIRITUAL COMPASS

It is folly not to acknowledge the fact that life and love are spiritual. Life isn’t just material and mental, life is spiritual. This commitment to a supreme being that most of us call God is the greatest regulator of human conduct known to man. The outcome of this spiritual commitment is morality and this morality is a key attribute of individuals you can trust in love. Without a deep reverence for God and his judgmental prerogatives, most lovers will tend to do whatever they like to their partners without fear of divine retribution. This, of course, brings us to the question of religion. Suffice it to say for now that you must settle for a religion that places the greatest value on human life and love. Once that commitment is made, you must then settle for individuals of a compatible spiritual orientation and then grow your love for each other within the context of that religion. To do otherwise is to sign up for pain.

If you won’t cry over spoiled love someday, you must take these five things seriously and do your utmost best not to settle for less, where you could have had the best. I wish you the best in your initiatives.

THE GREATEST IS LOVE