Some things are more important than love because possessing love without them is bound to be catastrophic. I call them love’s foundations. Earlier we dealt with friendship and self awareness, today we turn to the subject of character. If you have ever loved a character deficient individual, you can bear me witness that it is one of the most emotionally frustrating scenarios in love. To understand character we must give some working definitions.Character is walking your talk. Promises today are a dime a dozen in love. Almost every marital rite in the world requires the exchange of some form of vows or the other. How many people remember their vows and let alone live out the contents of their vows? Talk is indeed cheap but living out our proclamation is where the challenge is. Choosing to love a person who places no value on their words is the riskiest thing to attempt in this world. Many who have done so are still nursing the wounds derived from it one way or another.
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Character is public-private consistency – Many today are one thing when people are watching them,and something else entire when they don’t have eyes on them. Some lovers are only loyal to the presence of their partners,once their partner is out of sight, they look for someone else to be loyal to. If your private engagements are too grim to be declared publicly,chances are you lack character and love needs character to thrive.
- Character is having nothing to hide – The love of nowadays comes with a mandatory clause of secrecy. We hide our phones,our bank accounts, our contacts, our whereabouts, in fact, the list is endless. Some have passwords for everything in their lives simply because they want to lock out the ones closest to them from their clandestine operations. When I look at the volume of secrets lovers keep from themselves today, I just wonder what is left to share in love.
- Character is acting right, even when you are feeling wrong – Once your feelings become the sole authority regarding your actions and decisions, you are headed for the rocks. One recipe for failure in love is to do whatever you feel like doing all of the time. Though you have feelings for the one you love, your relationship with them must not be run by feelings, it should run on principles.
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Character is living out your ideals – The gap between what we know to be right and what we do is usually huge. The closer this gap the more of a person of character we are. The wider this gap the more deficiency in character we have. Without strong ideals to live up to, we are bound to wander into all manner of atrocities that will ruin our love lives.
The development of character in ourselves and the requirement of character in the lives of those we chose to love, are the two pillars that successful loving rests upon. Those who honor these principles will have nothing to regret in their involvement with the love enterprise. Merry Christmas.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE
Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
lovedynamix@gmail.com
@lovedynamix on twitter.
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