Yesterday, we dealt with how not to start a relationship. Today we want to consider how to start one should you desire to do so. The earlier fact that beginnings are connected to endings hold true for this activity also. Many people tend to begin things without accurately counting the cost of finishing it, as such, they only get half way and turn around. The scene of our civilization is littered with so many abandoned relationships that are a mockery of the efforts of those who started them.Let’s address some simple starting tips.
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KNOW WHAT IT TAKES: Underestimating what it takes is one of the primary reasons for failure in relationship. In marriage for instance,many enter the institution tempted by the juicy prospects of marathon sex, without considering that there will be in laws to appease, children to raise, bills to pay, differences to settle, wills to align with and so forth. The concentration of such marital responsibilities has a way of confounding the unprepared in the marriage institution. So it’s time to count the cost sincerely. Do you really have what it takes spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, physically, temperamentally to be Mr&Mrs? If not, don’t deceive yourself.
- KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: If you don’t align what you want, with what you go for, there is bound to be trouble. Some men don’t actually want a wife, they just need a cook. Some ladies don’t actually want a husband, they just need a financial sponsor. Others don’t really want a wife, they need loyal subjects. The problems in relationships begin when the person you have, is not willing to be the person you want. This is why from the beginning, expectations and desires must be agreed upon before the relationship starts. Roles and responsibilities must be clarified before your relationship is initiated. This will go a long way to help the couples to overcome mid course conflicts.
- KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T WANT: We all have personal love taboos that differ from individual to individual . You cannot have a peaceful relationship with someone who is not committed to avoiding the things you don’t want. Many times we are often too romantically flustered to realistically state what we won’t take in a relationship. The price of such reluctance is personal unhappiness. What won’t you take from your partner? Disrespect? Lying? Cheating? Physical abuse? Premarital sex? Polygamy? What aren’t you willing to cope with? State it clearly, and let your prospective partner get the point.
- KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING: Relationships are actually ships. They are meant to be vehicles of transportation to particular destinations. If a relationship is therefore not taking me anywhere, what is the point in it? Will you sentimentally sit down in a cab that is going nowhere because you love the way it looks? How dare you then sit in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere or moving you to your desired destination? Perhaps the reason why many put up with such stagnant relationships is because they haven’t articulated a clear cut direction for their lives. If you are in this category you must realize that a valid principle of transportation is that you must first determine your destination before you determine those who are to go with you.
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KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM: Those who are not conscious of their history are bound to repeat it. If this is not your first relationship, there are lessons that your past involvements has taught you. It won’t be wise to repeat previous mistakes in your present relationships. Some of us are from broken homes, we can tell first hand what certain negative attitudes and habits can do to a once thriving relationship. It would be unwise to repeat such in our future relationships. Some ladies can tell first hand, what having sex with a man you’re not married to can cost you. Should you now be the first to open up sexually to someone whose marital commitment to you is in question? What am saying is that we must be clear about the lessons of our past in love, and we must be determined not to make the same mistakes twice
Those who start their relationship with these five intelligences are bound to have greater prospect of success,than those who don’t. It is time we chose this smart approach in initiating relationships. I sure do hope to rejoice with you soon.
THE GREATEST IS LOVE
Deji Olabode
Love Dynamics Global
Enthronement Assembly Lagos
lovedynamix@gmail.com
@lovedynamix on twitter.
BBpin; 270B1423
* Please note that all enquiries about speaking engagements and professional counseling should be sent by email to the above email address. Thanks.
* Also feel free to download our newly launched Love Dynamics app on blackberry app world. Simply click on the following link and download for free. http://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/39425945
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